They say the secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new. I struggle with this every day because of my PTSD from both addiction and toxic relationships. Somedays it’s like, what’s the point? I was miserable living that way and still am most days because of the PTSD I experience. Still…I choose not to drink or use, but how does one move forward when they are forever haunted by the past?
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Hey love,
I also battle PTSD, anxiety and depression. It’s extremely hard at times but I take a deep breath and keep putting one foot infront of the other. Alcohol as well as other things I used as a coping mechanism to try to forget. Over the years I came to realize alcohol only made things worse, the aftermath was not worth the short amount of numbness and it stood in my way of me truly healing. Sometimes I fear I’ll always be haunted by my past but then I tell my brain to shut up, remain strong and keep my head high. No matter how hard it is I will never let my past get in the way of who I’m becoming and so shouldn’t you. You CAN do this. 
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What worked for me was finding something spiritual to help me sort it out. Whatever that is to you, I would focus on acceptance and understanding of the situation. Everything happens for a reason, you can either let it tear you down, or you can become that beacon of light to someone else in a similar situation. I guess, In some aspects me helping someone else was a method of healing my own broken soul.
Keep working on it, the answers will present itself if you looking.
Hugs
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Yeah, I know this too. Its like my mind is strong but my heart is weak. I’m consumed by all the emotions and it’s so overwhelming at times, but I know better than to drink or use because it’s only a temporary relieve and just results in more problems or me feeling worse.
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I told my sister in law the same thing just not too long ago. Like it’s ok to visit just dont unpack and live there. It comes and goes, I just dont know what to do in the moment sometimes
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I know it sounds really simplistic, but for me (also a sufferer of PTSD and anxiety), sometimes I just have to focus on my breath…breathing in, breathing out. Often I combine that with meditation or with restorative yoga. I know that can be challenging if you don’t have a lot if free time. Youtube has 10 or 20 minute restorative or yin yoga (mostly just laying there, little movement)…to help you focus and slow down your mind, heart and nervous system.
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I have been going to the gym for a few months now and I find it has helped some, but maybe something at the end of the day. Thank you
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The gym helps me too. I do like a few minutes away later in the day. I just shut the bedroom door and get my ohm on. You may also find yoga nidra helpful.
This is comforting. I too suffer from Complex PTSD. Emotional triggers are very difficult for me.