For the last few years I’ve been pretty lonely. I have faced a lot of rejection. A lot of talking behind my back. A ton of being excluded.
It’s fair to say that it has severely damaged my ability to ability to make friends and it’s made me pretty darn insecure.
In April I started a new job. My coworkers are good people, at least most of them are, and I’ve got a pretty good connection with most of them. But they have gatherings every few weeks and never invite me. That stings. Especially since my best and only friend does get invited.
I can wait around the rest of my life for others to show initiative in becoming friends with me. It’s what I’ve always done.
But I’m done with that. So I have invited all my coworkers to my birthday through text. And, to be honest, it was agonizing. I was incredibly scared of the guaranteed rejection. I spent 10 minutes thinking of a name for the group chat…
But it seems as though I was wrong. So far it has been met with enthusiasm. I’m hopeful this will improve my relationships with my coworkers.
Moral of the story, sometimes there are barriers in life that are absolutely terrifying. But pushing through those barriers can be incredibly beneficial and most often worth it!
The barriers are often internal. The other people aren’t on a campaign to exclude you. The sense of persecution you feel is more likely a mask for your own insecurity and low self-assessment: emotional and mental habits you picked up at some point in your childhood. It is you defending against yourself.
But by taking the step of sending those texts, you have begun dismantling your internal wall of self-isolation. This is going to be a great learning experience!
Good of you to do do Jan! I hope you will have a great birthday and that is helps with making more connection with your co workers.
Getting out of your confort zone isn’t easy, but just there lies the growth. And you just did that.
I can totally relate to you in many ways. It takes a really strong minded person to do what you did. There’s no way people won’t like you, you are kind and honest, what many people need in a friend.
That takes guts.
We typed the same at the same time
And we’re gonna listen to music!
is it a cake or a pie???