Is identification of how you feel and knowing that the feeling isn’t you part of recovery?
I am at a stage where I know a lot more about myself than I did before. I’ve been able to identify how I feel when I am overwhelmed or triggered and more importantly I am able to be in the moment where I am triggered or overwhelmed, know that is what is happening and be seperate from that feeling but still experience it. Its hard to describe but I am aware a lot of the time that I am not my feelings. They are a seperate thing to me as a person.
However I have not yet worked out how to bring those feelings back down and return to a grounded place, which is a frustration. It feels like I can identify the problem but I haven’t worked out the right strategies to turn to, so I turn to PMO.
Hey there! Great question!
I think i know what ur getting at Is what ur struggling with, have to do with finding other coping skills to bring ur emotions/feelings back down to base level?
Sounds like ur self awareness is on point, which is awesome! That can truly be half the battle, trying to figure out what we are feeling (at least it is for me). We can acknowledge what we are feeling, but then we must take action to calm ourselves down/ground ourselves.
Usually when Im really emotionally heightened or triggered, the first thing I do is pause/stop what Im doing (I dont react whatsoever bcuz I need that time to put distance btwn me and potentially relapsing… I have literally sat on my hands before so that I dont reach for something I shouldnt lol). I will pray to my HP for the next right step or action (i know thats not everyones cup of tea but I thought Id mention that in case ur into prayer). Then Ill close my eyes and ill deep breathe for like 2-3 min. I will focus on my breathe and focus on relaxing my body bcuz my body is usually very tense when Im stressed or overwhelmed. This will usually calm me down enough. Or sometimes I like to do a grounding technique called the 5 senses grounding technique. If u havent heard of it, Ill find the picture describing it
Once Im calm, i usually do an activity that distracts me (wether thats a hobby, cleaning, exercising, listening to music, something).
Sometimes it can take awhile to being me back to a calm state (depending on the emotion im feeling). But its important to remember that emotions come and go, they dont last forever
I totally understand what youre describing. Im feeling like i can identify what and why im feeling but still struggle to deescalate when feelings are heightened. Right now i deep breathe, box breathe, and go for a walk. Gotta keep trying different tools because sometimes some work or others would be better
Thank you @Cjp and @Butterflymoonwoman . You both got exactly what I meant so thank you for your understanding and your feedback.
I know I have some coping strategies and it feels like it is personal to each of us what they are. Grounding is so important and I often feel most grounded when I have bare feet on the floor or my hands in the earth when gardening. Sometimes I lose my way and end up completely disconnected to my body. Its at those moments I struggle to bring myself back.
As you said @Butterflymoonwoman the emotions pass, I’m starting to notice that now. It feels like the next step to guide myself towards calmer emotional waters rather than fight against their pull.
What may work for me, may not work for someone else. I know for myself too, my coping strategies change depending on what emotion Im feeling. What i would do for stress/overwhelm is different from what Id do for anxiety and is different from when i get triggered.
I think what matters is that ur exploring different techniques and not giving up. I see how determined u are to avoid escaping into PMO. It will come where ull find something that just works in that moment
I know my defects, but can’t find a way to control them. So, like you, I turn to PMO.
PMO was my first coping mechanism since I was 8. I realized that it was a bigger issue after my 3rd yr of sobriety. It gives me a temporary relief, but I feel worse afterward. It makes me insecure, jealous, envious, and low-self esteem. On top of that, I’m already dealing with anxiety.
Is what ur struggling with, have to do with finding other coping skills to bring ur emotions/feelings back down to base level?