drinking like a “normal” person, or in “moderation” or was able to control it to the point where the ability of never going back to that old way drinking was a victory? And this is for people that HAD a history of abusive drinking…
What brings this up? I was hanging out with my roommate today with some of his family here at the apartment and he offered me a beer…then later a bourbon. He has no idea I’m a recovering alcoholic. He respected my polite denials but it just angers me that I can’t even have one drink as a normal person in a normal situation because I know what 1 drink can or will lead to. It’s seriously frustrating and thoughts of like why am I even working so hard to stay sober? I live once. Why can’t I enjoy this part of life?
Do not fret. I will it not drink. But I needed to vent because at times I would really like to drink.
It’s like tossing a young lamb at the feet of a hungry lion and the lion can’t do shit but watch in agony………
I fully believe that if you are here it is because you can never “drink like a normal person” because if we could we wouldn’t be here.
But I totally get it. After 5 years sober I still get pissed that I can’t have a drink. I’m sure at 30 years I’ll be pissed that I can’t have a drink. However, I also know that being sober is better. I’m better. I’m happier. Alcohol will never be worth it.
We know the answer here. I don’t enjoy drinking alcohol anymore because I have taken all the fun I was ever meant to have out of that coping mechanism. Now I’m left with the grit and the gunk. Nothing promising awaits me at the bottom of a glass anymore. If I try to find some enjoyment I WILL chase that question to the end of the bottle. And then the next.
This isn’t something that I feel although I tend more toward sad than anger but hopefully someone comes along with insight here.
Why you ask? Because, like me you likely used up all your drinks in a short period of time. See some folks have 2 drinks a couple times a week for maybe 40 or 50 yrs.
Me, I had 8-12 nightly on work days and near double that on my days off for 8 yrs.
So the math works out the same, just burned mine too fast and developed a disease of the brain at the same time.
Acceptance is the answer. Then we don’t beat ourselves up about it. Hugs friend and merry Christmas. You gave yourself the best gift today…not picking up!
I never had one drink so that is an illusion to me.
I don’t care anymore as as time has gone on, I see that I’m not missing out on anything…
Some people can have a few drinks and get on with their lives for some of us can’t.
I’m not missing out on
Hangovers
Having a foul mouth
Constant fighting
Mysterious injuries
Drink driving
Bad health
Bad sleep
Etc etc etc
Maybe it’s time to be honest with your roommate so this doesn’t happen again, you don’t have to use the term “alcoholic” or “in recovery” to explain to someone that drinking doesn’t work for you and put in a boundary, I wouldn’t be putting up with being offered drinks where I Iive.
Because you can’t. It’s that simple. We can spend our days angry and frustrated about the things we can’t do, and forget to do and enjoy the things we can do and have.
The moment that I accepted and embraced the truth that I could never drink again, was the moment I was free to start living like I should. I don’t begrudge anyone else who drinks. Some have a healthy relationship, where drinking doesn’t interfere with their living. Me? Living interfered with my drinking, so I said “no more”.
i live once, which is why i work hard to stay sober. life is so precious. it deserves our care. we deserve our care. that’s why, when we understand that our relationship with alcohol is abusive, we break up with it and don’t let it back in. ever. because - we only live once. and we want to LIVE, not tolerate a slow death, which is what consuming alcohol or drugs does for us. once we realize we can’t drink “normally”, it’s never worth it. and it’s nothing to be angry about really, it’s something to be proud of. “i am someone who does not poison themselves or risk the safety and well-being of others. and i’m proud of that.”
Thanks and I like the way you put it about taking the fun out of drinking. I for sure did. I’ll remember this take when I get in these “moods” ha, thanks again my friend🙏🏼
I used to think this way too. But then I started thinking, at what point was this enjoyable for me? Was it the drinking to excess nearly every single time? The waking up the next morning in a panic either wondering what I did or, even better, if I could get another drink? Was it the burning shame drinking caused me? The bad friendships/relationships drinking encouraged me to make? The literal poison in my body that I could feel rotting my insides? The self hatred? The lies? The wasted time? Maybe you can’t enjoy this part of life because, truth is, it’s not enjoyable. You’re not missing anything except grief and regret.
This registered with me…and something I guess I’m going to have to keep remembering when I go through these moods. Even if I’ve accepted it from the very 1st decision to change my life…I need to remember that decision and that my acceptance will be a recurring and consistent theme throughout my life. No matter the circumstance, season, event or whatever. I’ve accepted that this is who I choose to be now……
I actually did play that tape forward…and yea, you’re absolutely right. What would 1 single drink do? Besides having to reset my clock, the self-loathing that will be coming for days, and the shame of losing…again. I’m being a little dramatic but it would feel like that. I know myself. So yes, what would 1 do? And why entertain that for such a temporary moment…
Yes…I’m realizing more and more each day I am one of those people that cannot have just one. This is my life now and I gladly accept it. Thank you for the advise with my roommate
The only thing i really dont like about not drinking is that you always have to explain/justify, why you are not drinking. Alcohol is so embedded in our society, that you stand out, if you are not drinking. Even though it would make much more sense that one would have to explain why he/she is drinking alcohol, as everybody knows how harmful this substance is…
Each and every confrontation with alcohol is a choice. Agree. The longer the sobriety the easier, and almost seamless the choice becomes I would imagine….
