My story is simple - I am 27. I was partying heavily since 16 (began smoking when I was 11, drinking when I was 14, smoking pot at 14 too, heavy drugs at ~16). I loved it and I actually so grew up into that I had no idea how to spend weekend without getting hammered (actually I still dont haha). Last one was ~week of non stop good old “sex drugs and rocknroll”. Like 6 kind of different drugs, deadly ammounts of alcohol. I woke up and deciced, fuck that, I’m quiting. It has been 3 weeks since I’m out. I still crave of everything, I watch my friends stories and I feel jelaous of them partying. I’m sick and tired of all the looks and shouts when I tell someone I’m clean (as I am well known party person). I still have no idea how to spend my free time bcus even daily activities I used to get into… Well I did it drunk and it doesn’t feel right now. But all of this - fuck it, not a problem. The biggest problem I don’t feel different, which was main motivation. I was sure I’m going to feel much better phisically, which is not the case tbh. And most importantly I was hoping I will feel much better mentally, which is not happening. I still don’t feel much different from when I was fucked. And honestly, the rollercoaster of both emotional and physical health was much more interesting than this always-the-same experience when being sober. Being drunk or high atleast would get me a day or two of this fake happiness, when hangover would hit rock bottom. Anyway, the difference kept me feeling alive, when now I’m just meh, existing while hating my job and waiting for new day to start to do nothing exiting once again.
Any opinions on this? Is it normal to feel bored and have no excitment for things? Is it normal to feel left out by your old “gang” ? Share your experience guys, cheers
Maybe you should try and do new things. Get a hobby, something different from what u were doing when you were partying. Something healthy. Congrats on 3 weeks
Three weeks is a great beginning but not enough time to experience meaningful changes— and I think you’ve really got to want to change your life for sobriety to work. Because it is work. It doesn’t just happen.
I know what you mean about the roller coaster of the high life versus the everyday monotony. But I was very ready to exchange the two. My roller coaster days and daily drunken drama had long since stopped being fun. Sure, I got to play detective the morning after blackout and find where I parked my car, or where I left my credit card or try to figure out the name of the person in my bed. And so on. I dreaded seeing people I had been drinking around because I couldn’t remember anything I had said to them, though I often had a strong sense that I had been an asshole. I hated the regret. I hated the lost memory. I hated the money I was throwing down the toilet. I hated the weight I was gaining. I hated that getting drunk was the only way I knew how to have fun anymore.
It definitely sucked when I first stopped drinking and could see the great times my friends seemed to be having when I would scroll through social media. I felt so left out. But I took a hard six month time out from my regular social life when I quit. And I realized that my old “social life” was just me getting shitfaced with other drunks.
When I started hanging out again with six months sobriety under my belt, I was amazed to see and hear what my drinking friends had been up to. One friend laughingly told me that she has passed out on the toilet during a fancy dinner with her fiancé. The fire department had to get her out of the bathroom. Another friend told me she had woken up on the train platform where she had apparently passed out while waiting for a late train the night before. Another friend told me he was so drunk and high at a bar that when a random guy reached into my friends jacket and pulled out his wallet and clocked him in the face, my friend had been unable to stop him even though he watched it happen.
I collected all of their stories in my head and added them to my own. I don’t ever want that kind of drama in my life again.
When I quit, I knew I wanted to be done with all of that. I’m so glad I am. Sobriety gave me a much better life. But it takes time and it takes work.
To be honest all those stories sounds like a lot of fucking fun. It is probably inside me - normal life bores me. And I doubt I can get over that. And thats the problem, I would like to stay sober for the sake of my health and to save up some money (and loads of other things too for sure), but I can hardly find motivation while I cant feel any different in the term of physical/mental health and I find the high life much more interesting and attractive. But I guess I have to give up on something if I am willing to believe that I am being healthier right now haha
Also the thing is I actually never in my life had a sober life. My puberty went drunk and I dont even had a hobby before. So it is hard to go back when theres nothing to go back at haha
No one can “go back”. But we can all go forward…until some of us can’t. My son now resides in an urn on my living room shelf.
And he is most definitely not the first, or will he likely be the last, of his group of ‘friends’ to die from their “fun”.
Give yourself time and opportunities to see what else is out there for you. You are worth it!
Can I suggest some meetings? NA and AA. I think by meeting and talking with other addicts you will learn what reasonable expectations are. Three weeks is an amazing accomplishment from where you came but I think too soon for any meaningful changes. Depending on what drugs you took you might not even have them cleared from your system yet.
It also sounds like you are romanticizing your party days. Just try to remember that there was a reason why you woke up and said “fuck this”. You obviously were experiencing the negatives of excessive partying too. When you’re feeling nostalgic for the fun try to remember the low too.
Keep it up. You’re doing awesome. YOU CAN DO IT!
Step back a bit, and gain some perspective regarding your position relative to your friends. If you do this, you will realize which side of the bars you are on. Look closely. See the thick walls of addiction, and the bars of substance abuse that have them trapped. Sure, they are singing about how much fun they have…inside their cage. Now look around you! The only bars or walls are in the direction you are facing…which happens to be where you once were. Turn around. Put that jail cell at your back. Look now, what do you see? Is it freedom? Freedom to go and be better? Freedom to keep getting better at getting better, each and every day? Freedom to be better today than you were yesterday, and tomorrow better still?
You’ve lost nothing. Mourn nothing. You’ve everything to gain. Celebrate this!
I struggled with this heavily during my early sobriety. I still struggle with it now. I dont get invited to parties anymore. My “friends” all say they miss me, but yet never ask me to do anything… at first it begins to feel a bit lonely, but then I realized the sad truth of it all. They dont invite me bc I make them self conscious of their own drinking/partying/drug habits… and that’s just something they’re not willing to face just yet.
I found new things to do. I started cooking and crafting and reading more. I spent more time with my pets, which I cherish now that one has passed away. I started going walking and exercising every day. And now that I’m sober, I get invited to different things. I get invited to the zoo with my sister & nephews, to family dinners, to farmers markets and fairs. And those are the memories I will cherish, not the drunken nights at parties with fleeting friends. Dont get me wrong, I still get cravings to be involved in all that, but i am quick to pull myself back to reality * realize how much better off we are without it.
I completely understand how you feel,I’ve been taking drugs and drinking since the age of 14 (I’m now 33!) Was out at a different party or rave every weekend,doin stuff every day of the week as well,its the only thing I’ve enjoyed for such a long time. I’ve stopped everything just like that, it’s been 9 days now and I have no interest in absolutely anything 
I also dont feel any better physically or mentally,if anything I feel worse too. Even the most mundane things such as getting dressed or having a shower takes all my energy. I feel so bad tempered and dont have many people to talk to as I’m trying to avoid the people in that ‘circle’. So I completely get it. But everyone is telling me to stick to it and that things will get better…I’m hoping so. Just know you’re not alone in how you’re feeling and if you ever wana chat please get in touch it’s nice to know theres someone else going through the same things you are. Well done on 3 weeks of staying clean that’s fantastic 
Just to reiterate what others have said really but the way I see it now is we didn’t have to do much to get that high before, what you’re saying you’re missing. It was easy, it was there at our fingertips.
Now, your thinking, right I’ve stopped that and now my life will change. At 3 weeks?
You have the rest of your life free of the chains of addiction.
I don’t know your circumstances, but you can literally do whatever you want to do.
But whatever you want to do, you have to go and get it! Once you start to do things, the doors will start to open and who knows where you will end up with an open mind and heart, it could be on the other side of the world!
Hello!
I only have 70 days alcohol free but I can say that you will start to feel better physically and emotionally - it just takes time. It’s only recently that I’ve noticed an improvement. In the beginning I was exhausted - like soul-sucking, bone dead exhaustion, headaches, mood swings. I also mourned the “excitement” or the “rush” that alcohol provided - after all, I had been drinking for about 30 years. But I can say from my experience you WILL feel better. It just doesn’t happen that fast. Now I feel better, sleep better, more perspective on my past “life” and all the utterly stupid, embarrassing things I did that I thought were “fun”.
Also maybe check out Post Alcohol Withdrawal Syndrome (?) PAWS. It’s a thing!
Best of luck! 