I am new here. I really need advice since i am trying to stay sober but finding it very hard when I live in the same city as most of my family who drinks heavily and every event I am invited to involves every single person drinking. I have two good friends who arent big drinkers but one lives over an hour away and the other one is a bit of an introvert which is totally fine but i am really struggling to attend events with drinking involved and not wanting to drink as well as feeling like I have nothing to keep me busy on the weekend unless I stay home alone. I am also a single female who just got out of a very toxic relationship and not looking to date since I am not ready. Any advice? Please be kind thanks!
Hey! Welcome to the family. You will find a lot of support and solid sobriety here. Everyone is extremely kind and helpful. I know it is difficult when it is your family but in recovery especially early recovery it is necessary to be a bit selfish. If they love you & understand what you are trying to do hopefully they will give you space you need to recover. It is very important to get a sober buddy when going to events that you cannot avoid and know there will be alcohol or substances. For me and this was just my experience I had to surround myself with people who had the common goal of being abstinent from all substances. I had to make all new friends. I went to a lot of 12 step meetings. Made a lot new friends and got a sponsor to help me through the steps but also help me navigate difficult situations like attending functions where alcohol cant be avoided. You took a big step by reaching out here. Im proud of you!! Keep coming back and stay engaged this is a huge resource with fabulous bank of information.
Welcome Karissa!
When I got sober, I avoided all gatherings for the first 4-5 months. That included the holidays with family. I knew I didn’t have the willpower or enough tools to be around alcohol. Like Michelle said, it’s necessary to be a bit selfish. I had to protect my sobriety at all costs. Instead of going to family and friends events, I went to AA meetings and made new sober friends. No one ever brought up the fact that I missed the holidays that year. They probably don’t even remember. The good news is, the time will come when you can be around alcohol and it won’t faze you.
Wishing you the best on your journey.
You definitely seem to have an open mind and ready to consider taking suggestions. Its hard to stay away from family but sometimes it is necessary just for a while to get to where you need to be so that you can live your best life and be best self. I am excited for you! Its a journey like no other…it opens you up to new freedom you never knew was possible.
It will get easier. If you dont feel comfortable or solid going somewhere ehere thete is alcohol, it is absolutely okay to say no. This can be a bit isolating at first, and I hope youre able to make some new sober friends (tbh I dont have any outside of this place, but tht works for me!) Until you feel like the presence of alcohol doesnt bother you anymore.
At some point the temptation for it will dissipate, and then you will be making decisions based more on whether you actually want to be there or not! Its a whole different ballgame from there. Give yourself this time and be easy on yourself, you are doing an amazing thing and its okay to sit things out to protect that. Not always easy to be on our own, but you’ll hopefully be able to discover some new things you like to do (or old things you havent done in a while :)…or hey even just engaging in some good ol self care These tjings do take time, but try as you can to just focus on today. One day at a time, and the rest will follow. We’re ALWAYS here if you feel alone & need to chat
I’ve been sober for only 2 weeks.
Before you would always catch me with a glass of wine in hand starting at 4:30/5pm.
I recently went to a friends comedy club to support him and I too was super nervous about everyone drinking. I opted to have NA beer and felt complete with it. I actually had 3 the entire 6 hours and was proud of myself!
Nobody really cared and I didn’t feel left out.
I also notice if I put club soda and lime in a wine glass with cranberry, it make me feel fulfilled.
Just a thought to try!
Was suggested to me to stay away from pubs and clubs until i got strong enough in my sobriety , by that time i had new sober friends In AA and i didnt really want to got to those places wish you well
For me, getting sober meant making 100% wholesale change in my life.
I left a well paying, stable office job, went to college for 2yrs…wrote/passed exam to become a licenced Paralegal in my province…but ended up going into the trades instead…
Make change, get comfortable with being uncomfortable…
Giving up for me was a pretty solitary affair. Most close to me realized that I had crossed over from a regular drinker to must drink drinker. Drinking by myself whenever possible. I never announced I was stopping, just said I was having a short break when asked. Luckily the longer a stopped the easier it got and now I don’t even get offered booze at a party. Generally the taxi now for the drinkers
Give yourself this time and be easy on yourself, you are doing an amazing thing and its okay to sit things out to protect that. Not always easy to be on our own, but you’ll hopefully be able to discover some new things you like to do (or old things you havent done in a while :)…or hey even just engaging in some good ol self care 
. Hang out here and work on your sobriety muscles with some other TS members. Best wishes to you