My cravings for drugs are intense. I am diagnosed with chronic pancreatitis stemming from a rare underlying condition. I was scripted oxycodone for 3 years. I finally quit cold turkey 52 days ago and went through 10 days of hellish withdrawals. I did it cold turkey and was just done.
I was sick of my life being run by a little pill that wasn’t even covering my pain problems properly and causing a new set of problems like waking up at 3am in withdrawals needing an extra pill and running out anywhere from 3-7 days early because of it and having to go through those withdrawals before getting back on the meds and repeating the cycle.
So, now, I’ve been clean for 53 days but 4 days ago I was discharged from the hospital after a week stay that required pain medication. I have a very complicated medical history and there’s a fine balance between torturing myself and treating my pain problems. I was discharged without an active script. I refused it.
I am going through a bit of withdrawal. The worst symptoms seem to be chills and insomnia. As well as an intense desire for the drugs themselves.
What’s going on right now I know is craving-related and not pain-related. Despite that I find myself living in a 4-7 pain scale. Which I much rather live in than ever go through those 10-days of hellish withdrawals again or have my life run by that pill again.
I guess I’m wondering if I’ve hit Post-Acute Withdrawal Syndrome which is causing me cravings to feel better instantly when I know that is just a band-aid and not a solution.
I’m hoping to get some encouragement here as well as ideas on what to do. How do you or did you handle cravings? How do I balance a pain situation with a legitimate need versus an addiction problem? How can I handle my anxiety that makes my chest tight without benzos too?
I am very, very, very, very anxious and it’s driving me bonkers.