Hey Bootlove Thanku for your answer. I know I’m not going to get it right straight off. I totally understand your post. When I waken and can’t remember if I fed my dog… Holy shit that’s the worst. Once I bought 5 trombones on ebay… Seriously. I can’t even play the damn thing. But I was hoping to learn lol!!!
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That’s cute! I’ve sent an Email to the FBI, think God they never wrote me back or called.
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Wow! @ Minigil we have so much in common ! I too have lived in denial for a looooong time. Stopping here and there until boom ! One day my partner and children vanished ! It’s been 4 years of custody battle and with history of Alcohol abuse its uphill .
Today is my first day of many attempts at sobriety and hope we can support each other xx hugs 
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It sounds like we are identical twins! I am 50 days in from vino and was also new to all this 51 days ago. I fell upon it after downloading the app and so happy I did for the motivation!
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Hey welcome @Minigill thanks for sharing some of your story with us. good luck on your journey 
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So bit of a wobbly start 
I gave in and had two big glasses before catching myself on. Felt so bad and guilty… Trying to see the positive that I didn’t have two bottles 
The house is now wine free so having to go out to get some is another safety thing and hopefully give me time to come on here and talk myself out of it instead
@Minigill you are certainly not alone! I have relapsed more times than I can count and not 1 person on the board has judged me…even if your having a bad day have no idea why and think that drink will help just post about it first, I too am on my day 1 for the 20th time…read a lot from @Melrm I secretly stalk her words they are MAGICAL
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Never done this sort of thing before as in group… I think it’ll really help me. Thanks x
@Minigill same here!! You realize you start sharing your deepest secrets you become extremely vulnerable to “stranger” who someone become family who you trust with everything…it’s an amazing feeling today I can tell you I drank last night for no reason at all except I was “stressed out” from the day; this morning I smell like beer and sweat and disgusted with myself I can tell you that–not my husband bc he drinks and is fine
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I know exactly how you feel. I hace such a loathing for myself for not being strong enough. My partner hares me drinking wine and says it changes me. He said nothing last night which is somehow worse because I can’t answer back. That sounds odd lol. I guess the big thing is iv admitted things have to change and can’t beat myself up every wobble. Last thing I need is to feel like a failure 
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Most people don’t understand when you get to where you literally can’t stop drinking it involved POSITIVE reinforcement addicts like us who are light addiction to something changes our minds bodies…etc and people who arnt addict don’t feel what we feel or think how we think. You have realized you have a problem…your probably going to fuck up 10 times before you get it right but if you keep trying and admitting you relapsed that’s all you can do!!
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Never give up…try, try, and try again. Eventually something in you will click and your true inner voice will become louder than the addict voice. You already know what you need to do. Just surrender to the process. If you believe in God, pray. Ask him/her/it to remove the obsession so you can focus and have a fighting chance. Everyone here understands what you are going through. I mean, REALLY understands. Keep up the good fight and use every resource you have at your disposal to build a solid foundation, one stone at a time.
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So I talked to my doctor yesterday as I was there for unrelated routine thing. I was totally honest and she was totally non judgemental 
she gave me some good strategies to change my relationship with alcohol and the way I use it. I bought one of those tiny bottles and when I’d done all my jobs (sober) and walked dog (sober) I sat down with my new journal and wrote some thots and enjoyed my reward of 187 mls lol. Makes a change from 1200 mls.
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