Realizing just how unmanageable my life really was

I finally completed my step 1 work today and for the first time I was brutally honest with myself. I feel so ashamed of who I’ve become. After many years of going in and out of AA I realized today just how fucked up I truly am. The sanity of my mind beyond schizophrenia. Like it’s just crazy and at the moment I’m sad because my life has been a lie and also I’m afraid because of what is to come while I continue working the steps. I know that this is where I belong but man is it scary knowing just at how unmanageable my life is.

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Well done Ness.
It’s great to see progress.
Remember to try not to think about the future and stay in the present, one day at a time.
Keep doing the next right thing and everything will follow.
Again, well done.

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Thank you I really appreciate it! I definitely need to think about the present. I’m afraid of the future but I’m also dwelling on my past.

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I felt the same way in my early days. I couldn’t believe I let my life get so out of control. I almost lost my home and my job. It was brutal trying to clean up the mess I made while going thru withdrawals. I still have trouble letting go of the past but AA and the steps is making it easier. Hang in there Ness and keep your focus. Sending you big hugs. :hugs:

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it gets better. Youll look back and reflect. One life…live it!!!

I made poor decisions drunk. As you continue to make sober ones your problems will simplify.

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