Maybe this is your rock bottom. I hope it is. Have you tried to quit seriously before? Not just thinking ‘wouldn’t it be nice’ but really making a plan, and keeping to it. (No shade, I spent years in the wishing and hoping phase). Some resources here for you to try. Resources for our recovery
Hey there
We all were nervous before our first meeting. The first time I logged into an online meeting, I saw all the faces there, panicked and disconnected. Enough adrenaline for me for one day
Now I attend online meetings several times a week, feel very at home there and cohost one.
The imporant part is to try and start. Nothing changes until something changes.
I was super nervous too! I also did AA zoom meetings. You can find the online meeting finder on the “everything AA” app. I remember logging on and being amazed at seeing all the faces of people attending. People at work, people in their cars, people in their homes, people from all walks of life. Knowing that im not the only one who struggles really opened my eyes. I attended my first in person meeting shorty after and found a sponser.
I go to SA. It’s been very helpful. No one will judge you. Everyone is there to recover. No one is perfect there - just like you (and me) - and every one who shows up, shows up because they want to recover, like you do.
I got sober and it took me a couple of years to get to AA. I find it helpful to be around people that understand what I’m going through. I was nervous as all hell. Felt like I didn’t belong. Like I don’t fit in. I still kinda feel that way. But I keep going back because I get a message. One little message. And that message or nugget will get me through until the next meeting. I’m going to keep going back until I feel like I fit in.
You don’t have to speak if you don’t want to. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to; but be willing to listen to others I hear what works for them.
All meetings have a different flare. I like checking out lots of different ones and find one I’m comfortable with. I like speaker meetings. Nothing like a good speaker. And I like my book study meeting on Sunday. We take turns reading the big book and people share on it.
Great job reaching out.
This forum has also been key to my sobriety.
What helped me was to read Allen’s Carr - Quit Drinking, really recommend to read whole book. That’s just technical part of addiction. Maybe it will suffice maybe not. If not, it means you may have some issues (trauma…feeling you don’t deserve happiness…whatever you realize or even you might not even realize at this point in time yet) - in that case is best to seek out psychological help, AA…What helped me is a book from Phil Stutz “The Tools” and practicing the tools over and over. Plus read many many articles on alcohol and addiction here as well as on internet, and podcasts too. You can do this, just be honest to yourself, don’t underestimate this toxic demon - just work on it, really work and plan(s) - way out of this terrible addiction. Take care
You can do it. This community is great place to start there is lots of support. Read around! Come up with a plan to get your head to pillow sober at the end of day.
Fight the desire to drink as they come, each time. It will be worth it. Alcohol lies so much to us, it tells us it will make everything better but the truth is it does not. It destroys our lives in every way!
I myself, I have not been to AA meetings yet. But I’m not ruling it out, as I will do whatever it takes to stay sober!
I’ve just had a quick look over your previous posts. This one seems like you realise how desperate the situation is. Good.
I had a similar story bro, family good, work good but could feel myself physically deteriorating, dieing slowly.
Treat this like the last chance you have to get sober, because it might be. Some people never make it back.
You’ve done this before, you know if you ride out these tough days it gets easier. Do it man, tough it out, if you have to get to a meeting, do what ever it takes. Cravings are temporary.
You’ve got this. Just stack one day at a time.
Thank you all. you are inspring and helpful so thank you. Yes i’ve done a stint before but this needs to end. I have a lovely young family a well paid job thats stable and not really stressful. I make it worse by drinking and it stops you tackling the real issues.
I want to get to the weekend. Brave it out. I feel positive right now and need to get over the weekend bump to prove i can do it.
Crossing your fingers will not help you to stay sober. A plan will.
What is your plan for this weekend?
You already made sure there will be no alcohol in your house. Very good.
What else?
What tripped you the last time?
What are your triggers?
What tools do you want to use in case you get triggered?
Good questions…i don’t have all of the answers…a plan is something i’ve thought of but not sure how to put it together yet.
What is your plan for this weekend? I don’t have any plans currently, but might take kids out to fireworks.
You already made sure there will be no alcohol in your house. Very good.
What else? DO NOT GO TO THE PUB
What tripped you the last time? Going to the pub…once i get the taste i go to the shop on the way home and buy more.
What are your triggers? Feeling bored, not much to do so i have a list of jobs i want to tackle this weeken instead of just drinking. (is this the plan you are talking of?)
What tools do you want to use in case you get triggered? I have no idea, but i’d love input. Drinking a nice tea and eating a biscuit. Staying out of the pub and no booze in house should keep me off it.
No booze in the house and staying away from the pub are great choices!
Having a good list of todos is also good.
I would suggest to include some downtime, self-care, relaxing activities in your plan. Distraction is great, but body and mind also need r&r.
I also would suggest to attend a meeting of any kind of recovery programm. You can go in person or online. Check out different programms, different groups.
As for triggers I’d suggest whenever you feel triggered or feel like using to share this with someone who has experience with sobriety/addiction. This could be someone around you, a person from a recovery group, us here on the forum.
The first step to deal with triggers and using is to recognize them the first time the arise and name them, put them out into the open. Addiction loves secrecy and hates connection.