Hi everyone. Life has been pretty devastating. The girl that I loved more than I have ever loved everything left me several weeks. Two days ago, my grandmother passed away. I am an ordained minister, so my family has asked me to do my grandmothers funeral. My own grandmothers funeral will be the first funeral I have ever done. Three days, I am officiating my little brothers wedding. As a pastor, I am supposed to shepherd my family through their grief as we mourn the loss of our grandmother/mother/wife, and then I immediately have to do a 180° and shepherd my brother, his fiancé, and all of our families through a time of great joy, all while I am struggling with my own grief, my deep loneliness and the pain of losing the woman I loved as I become the only person in the family not married, and on top of all of that, the temptation to drink to numb all the pain has been so potent. I haven’t drank, and I have tried to be proactive by asking the aunt and uncle I am staying with for the funeral to hide all their alcohol. Like my name says, I really am trying my best. But I still feel like such a disgrace and a failure. For anyone reading this who shares my faith, I could really use prayer. For those reading this who don’t share my faith, I could really use your thoughts and well wishes. Thank you. I wish you all the absolute best in your own lives and journeys of recovery. God bless.
Hi Vann, your pain sounds heavy. In my opinion, the only thing you “have” to do is stay sober. Whatever that takes. Life will only be manageable for you without a drink. The pieces will reconnect in their own time. Have you called your sponsor? Be proud of yourself for having the awareness to reach out here today!!
This is a great opportunity to trust in your higher power and do the next right thing and not pick up. Down the road, you’ll be able to help someone else going through something similar. I said a prayer for you, my friend, maybe you should check out an AA meeting to get some support.
You have control over drinking, all you have to do is not consume alcohol and you’ll be A-OK.
Be yourself, do your best, and pray pray pray 
that’s what I would do anyway I think
I’m sorry that you are going through this. You are in my prayers 
. Please stay strong, drinking won’t help one bit. Be gentle on yourself. God bless you and your family 
Thats a lot of heavy and confusing emotions. Sending prayers for you and your family. Give yourself some grace but whatever you do dont pick up