I had been clean for months before I relapsed. I got back up felt strong and pushed along and then yesterday I did it again. My fight isnt over I want this so bad but I’ve pushed away my biggest support trying to lie about it and cover it up. I’m so lost but want the life I long for.
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Hi @Rachellelaflamme I’m glad you’re here! I am 4 days sober after a relapse myself, the struggle is real. Being truly honest is hard, but when we are the feeling of that heavy weight being lifted is so good!
So glad to be here with you! You can do it!
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I’m glad you are here and reaching out. Do you know where it went wrong on your relapses when you decided to drink? That’s huge, finding the why so you can do things differently this time. Try something new! But no matter what, don’t give up, stay with us! 
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Hey lady. Well…I’m glad you’re here! Congratulations on Day One. Well the good thing is that, it is fresh in your mind why you want to stop. It helped me to both write down every reason to quit drinking I could think of. After that I also wrote as graphic and detailed description as I could of my last hangover. When the craving hit for alcohol or drugs those first few days, I would stop what I was doing, breath for a little and read both those things the whole way through. Then I would play through the tape of what would happen if I DID use. These are helpful in the short term. Be kind to yourself, rest and drink lots of water. Perhaps looking for a meeting while your resting? The more you fill your sober toolbox, the more prepared you will feel for those moments where you consider drinking. The other good news is that you have it within your power to make this your last day one after a relapse! It helped me to Breath deep and know that I am doing fantastic things for myself by being sober, oh! And come on here as much as you can! It definitely helped to read through people’s stories as well as relapses and milestones (my personal preferences, maybe other subjects work better for you). I also took like, at least two baths a day those first couple weeks, and got chair massages whenever I felt stressed (and reminded myself how friggin lucky I was that I could pay for those things now that I wasn’t drinking!!!) again, I’m glad you’re here❤️
Much Love,
Ely
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Thanks to everyone on this thread. I read all the posts here and appreciate them.
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It is absolutely crazy how much I relate to this. Thank you for your reply. Everything was going great I was working really hard at becoming a better me and I was succeeding. I have to remember that it’s not all for nothing. There is a lesson in this relapse for some reason and I truly feel that way it’s the only thing that makes sense. I believe there’s always underlying life issues that keep you going back stuff that we are scared to bring up because they’re hurtful but cause us pain daily that we hold inside. Thank you for your reply! Cheers to watching that clock go up and goals be achieved! @dot.dot.dot this was to you
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Thank you all so much I have done a lot of hard thinking and harsh realizing during today. I realized being put down for my past by my now ex is never going to help me stay sober when I am indeed doing the right things, I have to focus on me and only me for right now. These forums help me so much and having people to talk to who understand is a God scent. People who understand that when we make these decisions we aren’t interested intentionally trying to hurt our families but they don’t understand that. No one gets the amount of shame behind admitting you’ve gone back to the thing they’ve been behind your back fighting with you. I regret it so much I lie and he thinks I’m personally trying to hurt him. It kills me but I know that’s where these put downs come from. If I weren’t fearful of him I think it would be easier
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