I’m really trying but it’s the holidays and it’s about to be my first Christmas sober. I’m craving all the time. It’ll be a year on the fifth, and to celebrate I’d love to go get pissed but I can’t.
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Welcome, congratulations on getting near the big one year milestone.
Milestones were always crazy for me. My subconscious self would carefully scrutinize my sober life and compare it to my addiction.
The problem was that my subconscious placed an abnormally huge amount of value on my drug.
So then, the milestone approaches, my life shows no joy at the moment, I’m struggling, and my subconscious plays this tape saying,
“AH HA! SEE! I WAS RIGHT! LIFE WAS BETTER BEFORE RECOVERY!”
and then the cravings would start, and they wouldn’t stop.
As I mentioned before, my problem was that I was giving my drug value. Thinking that it gave me some benefit, even if it was temporary. But it’s a lie. This benefit it gives me, this high, is all an illusion. I fell for that trick for several decades.
The truth is that my drug has no value. It’s worth $0. It provides me no benefit. Once I fully understood that, choosing sobriety is easy and I stop craving.
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Yeah but it really isn’t that easy. I’ve tried to just focus on other things but it’s a struggle
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Welcome Kyron! It’s nice to meet you. May I ask what tools you are currently using to help you remain sober?
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It IS a struggle! The human brain is very reactive, not proactive, and above all else it will seek to relieve any physical discomfort we are experiencing, even if that means doing something potentially harmful to ourselves in the long run. Brains don’t think about the long run, they think about right now. And your brain has been telling your addiction “yes” for along time.
What’s left is nothing less than the Herculean effort to retrain neural pathways and start to tell your brain “no” to your DOC.
It is sooooo hard. But it can be done. I have done it. I do it. Every single day, one day, sometimes one moment, at a time. I quit alcohol right before Christmas last year and the hardest thing I had to do was pass up the holiday parties etc. But my not drinking was priority. It was lonely, but I came on here, read posts of other people and I felt less lonely. And this year, the struggle isn’t NEARLY what it was last year. It ebbs and flows. I hadn’t been sober on a Christmas in over 15 years before last year. Try to take it a day or even a moment at a time.
You got this💜
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I needed to read this. Just had a rough relapse and decided to call out today to get some rest. I hardly slept good and my body is just tired. Your words give me hope that it will get better and I have to put my sobriety first ALWAYS, I’m learning this as I go but I’m honestly tired. I need to stay connected and make meetings and retrain my brain as you said to SAY NO alcohol is poisoning for me but what you said made so much sense the brain reacts to the what now and not the long run but if i start playing this last episode in my head maybe that’s a start to saying NO to the first one because it’s never just one for me.
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If it’s a year on the fifth, this is the second Christmas -?
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@Kyron I just relapsed at Thanksgiving and ruined everything! Stay strong. It’s not worth it. Everything will turn to sh*t really fast. REMEMBER THAT!!! You WILL celebrate your 2nd Christmas sober because you love yourself and sober life and the way you feel and think clearly now. We’re powerless against our addiction but strong everywhere else. You got this!!! PM me if you need someone to talk to 
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I need to find some sort of an accountability partner that could help to remind me every day and I could do the same for them. I thought that as I got closer to one year it would get easier but it isn’t that simpl
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We can do that! Let’s check-in everyday. Get the app ‘in the rooms’ where you can join a meeting everyday and we’ll chat about what we got from it 
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I don’t know how to add you but my username is kyron2416
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I’ll email you here in this app so we can keep in contact 
My username on here is just kyron
Ok just click your picture and you’ll see the email envelope. I sent you a message there for daily check-ins
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You’ve got this. Stay strong.
Try an online AA meeting when a craving hits. It has worked for me the past three days. It’s a way to distract & re set your brain.
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Distractions mostly
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Perhaps it’s time for something more then? Support group, meetings, therapy, reading books on addiction, exercise, fresh air, healthy diet come to mind. These need to be more than a distraction. They need to be tools for building a better you. A you that is not just sober but wants to be and stay sober.
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Much of this insight can be found in Allen Carr’s book,
The Easy Way to Control Alcohol
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Maybe try get solid support to help get through the struggle, church groups or 12step programs work for alot of people. I look at the holidays or special occasions as just another day to get through clean/sober. Special times bring alot of distractions and excuses that i can come up with to fall back into my addictions, so i have to keep my recovery a priority or i can just fall right back into the downward spiral.
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