I received my first DUI this past weekend and have been going through a whirlwind of emotions. Part of me is ashamed and disappointed in myself, but another part of me is glad I finally got caught.
I don’t know if I have a drinking issue or not as I never feel the urge to drink at home nor any other times of the day. But for whatever reason when I do drink, I want to get in the car and drive around and listen to music at its max volume to clear my head.
This has been going on for awhile now and was wondering when I’d get caught. Before I got my current job back in 2019, I was driving around smoking pot. Than when I got this job (that does random drug tests) I quit smoking but found myself drinking more.
Like I said, I’m not sure if I have a drinking problem or not. But I’m thinking I have an addiction to driving under the influence. Is that such a thing?
On a related note:
I also can’t help shake the feeing of a new sense of loss + just wanting to start new by packing my things and moving to a new place with new friends.
This rollercoaster of emotions is beginning to be too much and don’t know where to start
The feeling of wanting to escape is familiar. The doubt about whether I was a “real” alcoholic is familiar.
There is a difference in the meaning of a DUI between someone who made a bad decision after a party and someone who “is glad I finally got caught”. You get to define the difference.
If being sober and working out a program of successfully coping with emotions and thoughts is a reasonable solution, it’s likely you have the problem such a way of life is designed to address. But you get to decide if you want to follow that path.
I hope you are able to use the motivation of negative consequences and turn them into positive decisions.
Great points, love the way you framed identifying a problem with alcohol and how people who don’t have one don’t wonder or make bad choices with it. My bad choices were a wake up call for me thankfully, thanks for the great words
If your drinking is negatively impacting your life, you have a drinking problem. You admit that you drink and drive frequently. This is just the first time you’ve been caught.
Now consider if you hadn’t been caught this time. How likely would you have continued to drink and drive?
We can choose our bottom. Seems like this one is a good one to choose, because what’s likely next down the slope?
As previously noted if you think you have a problem with alcohol you just might
Reading your post, you said you smoked pot regularly until your new job required random screenings, so you switched to alcohol
It might not be just alcohol, it may be substances all together, essentially you swapped one evil for another looking for an escape but without the repercussions of a failed drug screen
However I’m not sure if your job will even be to pleased fo hear about your DUI arrest I know mine wasn’t.
As substance abusers we rationalize, find loopholes if you will to get our way. In this case you said you preferred marijuana until that didn’t seem like an option, so you resorted to alcohol, but the curveball came
Sounds a lot like me, I abused pillls uppers and downers, like they were a pack of smarties, knowing I had to pass drug screens and it was more socially acceptable I started drinking instead, my boss knew, my coworkers knew, as long as I was able to do my job, no worries, then the bottom really came out when I lost everything
My bottom should have been my DUI, but I kept digging, am I happy with the progress I made since I stopped, sure, but if I would have stopped digging at my first hiccup, I’d probably be even farther ahead
Unfortunately wanting to get in your car after having a drink and driving round listening to music is a drinking problem. Not only for yourself but innocent bystanders you might hit on your way. If drinking is putting yourself or others in harms way, it’s a problem.
We’ve all tried to change people, places and things. When the thing that we really needed to change was ourselves.
