So im almost at 3 days again. Last night i had to make one of the hardest decisions and turn my brother into the police. He is strung out and a monster and here I am fighting my own battle. This is like my 20th attempt after losing my 4 years of soberiety. I wish I could use right now but I can’t get anything right now anyways. My body hurts bad I’ve worked two weeks in a row with 1 day off. Tomorrow I have to do a long shift and I don’t know how I will pull it off. I just keep crying. Anyways that’s where I’m at.
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Keep checking in here. That was a very tough thing to do for your brother. I hope he sees the love behind the action.
Welcome back.
That would have been super hard, I can imagine the situation very well.
What are some of the things that worked for you during those first few months when you got 4 years clean?
How did you get through the first couple weeks? ( they are the toughest I find.)
I spent a lot of time reading on this forum, listening to recovery podcasts, doing art work, getting fresh air…
There is a check in thread that is quite active it’s a good spot to post if you’re having some strong urges. Check in there as many times a day as needed.
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Shit Amy, I’m sorry you’re going through all this crap. But please remember that you are here now, back where you belong. You kicked dope before for 4 and you can do it again, and even longer.
Your brother has his own fight and you calling the cops may be what saves him. I’ve seen it, I fucking live it.
We cannot control anything but our own actions and attitudes. Today is a good day–z we didn’t have to use or drink. Hugs to you.
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Welcome back, Ames. That certainly is a lot to deal with. Glad you came back to TS. Lots of support and understanding here.
Glad you are back. What you did was out of love and compassion for your brother. Hopefully he will realize that soon. I have gained so much insight, support and encouragement on this forum to help me in my struggle. I hope the same for you. Check in often it really helps.
So here is the update I had to restart again. I’ve been using secretly for a year again. I live alone I work and I’m stuck in a city with no car no friends no family. But guess what today is day 7 and a couple hrs. It’s been long overdue I want it I do and still a little part of me says please just fix this body stuff and let me function but I know it ain’t the answer. Because of the secrecy and my job I can’t do the things I first did. I did 2 weeks i.o.p. and outpatient everyday all day after that and I had a cps worker. Hopefully I’ll figure out a way to get back to where it all began. Pray fore please! I appreciate you all!
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@Ames1118 congrats on 7 days the worst of the withdrawals is getting behind you! Good job restarting again and coming back here.
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Thank you so much. I’m trying to find a virtual na meeting for NA New England but don’t know how it works.
I relapsed with quite a bit of time under my belt.
One of my biggest obstacles was not appreciating lesser amounts of time.
For example, my 30, 60, 90, six month ,one year milestones didn’t mean much to me because I had been sober for much longer.
I don’t know if your experiencing this. I didn’t really know I was as it was happening.
Since I realized this it has made commiting to long term recovery much easier for me.
Just something to think about. I’m glad your here!
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I Googled for you
Thank you @JasonFisher I am only 8 months along and still getting keytags but this is a good thing to watch out for in my hopefully clean and sober future. I do track my #of days on another app. and post that here every day but your post is a good reminder not to lose perspective.
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I don’t know how to get the meeting I’d or password though!
@Ames1118 can you not click on the link on each listing? It will take you directly to the meeting
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I did find one and do it. Thanks love!
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@Ames1118 that is fantastic! I hope you found the people at the meeting friendly and welcoming, and possibly were you able to pick up a white keytag?
I have been going to NA sporadically over the last 5 years, but didn’t fully commit to the program and surrender until my last relapse 8 months ago. I sincerely hope you’re not like me and have to keep going back out.
I go to Zoom meetings Wed, Fri, and Sat and could join one with you if you wanted a buddy? Also, feel free to message me on here anytime for support!
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Ur an amazing person. Thank you so much. I didn’t get my key tag because it was virtual. It was out of my area. I finally knocked myself out from like 6pm last night until 2:30 and now I’m up again I bought a bunch of OTC meds and I have clonidine and vistral. However you spell them with bottles of water and meal replacement shakes. Almost day 8:crossed_fingers:
I just hit day 8 & 1 hr. I gotta work tonight someone please tell me I’m almost through these withdrawals. I wasn’t this bad last time. I didn’t have as big of a habit. My DOC is fetynal. This is the strongest mindset I have had In awhile. I did call into work yesterday to take the day for myself.