Tomorrow makes 7 days sober from cocaine for me. I would always get to day 3 or 4 when the cravings were so strong, and my dopamine deficient brain was desperately seeking its ‘high’, I’d cave and fall off the wagon. This cycle of twice weekly usage, has been going on for the last 3-4 years, however my ‘partying’ started in my early 20’s and I fell into the cocaine addiction cycle, probably by my mid to late 20’s. It sucked me in quickly and I didn’t realise the depths I had gone to, until I realised that I wasn’t just ‘partying for fun like everyone else’, I had a problem.
Today also marks my 4th day in recovery post my two surgeries this week. My body is recovering very well and I am honestly in awe at the resilience and power of my vessel.
I can see how I had to go through what I want through this week, as a way of stopping me dead in my tracks……a universal or divine intervention is how I see it.
I can feel how different this is this time. And I’m not just saying that, trust me. I know I’ve been here many times before, but I’ve never felt this way previously. This time, I know I’m going to be staying on the sober path. The old me and my old life, is gone.
I’m so glad I never gave up on me. I know there is a long road ahead, but given what I’ve been through this week, I KNOW I have the power within me to get through anything. 
