I realy need to try a meeting!
Had several relapses @Thirdmonkey 
3rd evening sober…
Didn’t work on the steps constantly. 
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They will be life changing. It, for me, was so darn scary to go to the first one…
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I am reading Recovery Dharma at home and came across this passage today. It reminds me of this great site and sets my feet to the path of full recovery.
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Hi…
after a phase of relapsing every night, I just had my first online meeting. 18 hours sober.
It was a “Friday forgiveness” meeting and I enjoyed it a lot! It was reading / meditation / speaking and listening to 2 songs in the end. One of them was “let it be” and it made my heart happy and melt a bit.
I just shared my video, but I am insecure to speak until now, furthermore if it’s not my mother’s tongue.
Anyway, I made it. 
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Hello there! Glad you had your first meeting
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That’s amazing 
. Glad you got on a meeting. Recovery dharma is really special 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
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Joyned another online meeting today.
We did “mountain meditation”…
It’s very helpful feeling less lonely!.
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From the Third Noble Truth:
(just because I can’t read it enough…)
We don’t need to depend on anyone or anything else to remove the causes of our suffering. … This is the true empowerment and freedom of recovery - recognizing that happiness and suffering are entirely up to us, based on how we choose to respond to our experience.
One of those serendipitous non-coincidences: my Sangha is doing an inquiry circle, where we work through the four noble truths and the eightfold path, one an evening, weekly. The way the schedule worked out, I’m to lead us through the Third Noble Truth: the End of Suffering. “The Third Noble Truth is that the end of craving is possible. Each of us has the capacity for recovery.”
I’ve been a master of denying my feelings and then numbing them. At first, “letting go” of wanting things to be different - felt like just another exercise in denial. At least to me. But nope. It’s an “ah, I want things to be other than they are. Badly, sometimes. And the more I attach to that, the more suffering I cause myself.” Learning to sit with the things and breathe through them instead.
Learning this again. And again and again. 
But damn, it beats a hangover. 
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A full year has gone by since I started this path. This thread, to be honest, hasnt been exactly what i expected it to be. Life has moved along, and many times i just ran out of time and didnt post.
I just wanted to thank everyone that contributes to it. I am so glad I have wandered down this path…and I love that you are all here!
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Wow! A full year. I’m in a sort of jump start mode on personal development work and would like to take another look at this and readings related. Hope to post more soon. I can relate to the life happens stuff but it’s good to know we can circle back to all the elements in recovery, like this thread!
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Not sure if this belongs on the gratitude thread or here…
…but I’m grateful for Recovery Dharma. I’m sure other programs do all the same and right things too, but I’m grateful that the language of it makes so much sense to me. I’m grateful for the people in my Sangha who have done AA, SMART recovery, Al Anon and Coda, etc. That we take what works and leave the rest - and, know that the basics are the same, but in the details we might each help ourselves to different tools at the smorgasbord. I’m grateful there is a smorgasbord of tools.
I’m grateful for the eight-fold path. The last few weeks involved conversations with bankers, clients, lawyers, the purolator guy - and some of them were on the way to getting heated. I don’t think I would have thought of my response to these situations as related to my recovery from addiction to alcohol, per se - but WOW, are they ever. Tricky stuff - maintaining boundaries and openness, being firm and compassionate/kind. Okay, not yelling or punching.
Pema says it better than I can 
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Thank you for posting
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Thank you for starting this thread! It has been huge for my recovery, and the journey is far from over…
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Thank you for this! I’m happy that I’m now able to see when I’m in such a situation.
Being aware truly is a superpower 
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Ya know…isnt it crazy…for years…decades I drank so I didnt have to be aware…now, i crave awarness
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Pema always helps.
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I’ve logged a lot of time on the highway over the past two weeks. I like this time, usually - quiet with scenery, or listening to music. I really don’t like it when I’m uncomfortable with myself. In the before time, I couldn’t wait to get off the highway and crack open something to gulp away those feelings - whatever they were.
But I don’t do that anymore.
And with this program, now I’m invited to investigate those thoughts and feelings.
The past two weeks? I had some lovely times on my drives. I had some emotional unpleasantness too. Lots. And this: mostly I realized that I start writing some kind of unhelpful narrative during these times, or talking to myself beyond poorly. I may be doing well in that I haven’t craved a drink - but it’s not just my addiction to alcohol I have to fight, it’s my addiction to thought patterns that most likely set the stage to want to escape.
From Recovery Dharma:
When something happens, we almost immediately being to create a story, plan, or fantasy about it. We have a thought about an experience, that thought leads to another, and on and on until we’re far from a real understanding of the experience itself.
Mindfulness is noticing the experience in that moment before we get lost in the judgment of the moment or the stories we spin about it.
A new version of the “i spy with my little eye” roadtrip game! 
I think my recovery will stall if I don’t tend to this addiction, my addiction to thought patterns.
Onward, friends. Thanks for being here.
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This is freaking gold!
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I remember some very intense moments when I read this. Only from a distance luckily.
I was in therapy some years ago and went for a hike. I enjoyed it so much. The trail, the weather, the view. And out of the blue I somehow realised that I was here alone, and my ex had a new gf and then all went downhill. In like few minutes I witnessed me being happy to my whole whole whole complete life is bullshit. And not only my life but more importantly me. I think I cannot really prevent thoughts from bubbling up. I can work on letting them go before I create my little disastrous story around it with all the unpleasant feelings that come with it.
Thank you for sharing this.
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Happens to me too, but not that frequently any more.
This can ruin not only the day but many days if I let it. When this downspiral of negative thoughts start I sometimes don’t know how to stop it. It’s like 50/50.
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