from “The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times (Shambhala Classics)” by Pema Chödrön -
“cheerful reminder that there is no cure for hot and cold. There is no cure for the facts of life.”
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from “The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times (Shambhala Classics)” by Pema Chödrön -
“AS A SPECIES, we should never underestimate our low tolerance for discomfort.”
We see this daily. I saw this as a drunk in myself. Being sober didnt make it go away…it helps me be mindful
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The Arch on Mackinac island
The indigenous people, long ago, held this spot as where their God breathed life into the world.
Touched the earth, to honor them…to pay respect to their beliefs, to honor the area as more than just a geological curiosity.
I took very few pictures of my trip. Just basked in the moment. Looking for more than the perfect picture…but enjoying what my eyes saw.
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from “The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times (Shambhala Classics)” by Pema Chödrön -
“Acknowledging that we are all churned up is the first and most difficult step in any practice. Without compassionate recognition that we’re stuck, it’s impossible to liberate ourselves from confusion. “Doing something different” is anything that interrupts our ancient habit of tenaciously indulging in our emotions. We do anything to cut the strong tendency to spin out. We can let the story line go and connect with the underlying energy or do any of the bodhichitta practices introduced in this book. Anything that’s nonhabitual will do—even sing and dance or run around the block. We do anything that doesn’t reinforce our crippling habits. The third difficult practice is to then remember that this is not something we do just once or twice. Interrupting our destructive habits and awakening our heart is the work of a lifetime.”
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Wow this was me, still can be me
Ifrom “The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times (Shambhala Classics)” by Pema Chödrön -
"What is it that allows our goodwill to expand and our prejudice and anger to decrease? This is a significant question. Traditionally it is said that the root of aggression and suffering is ignorance. But what is it that we are ignoring? Entrenched in the tunnel vision of our personal concerns, what we ignore is our kinship with others."
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Ah, so many nuggets I’ve been uncovering on this journey! From meetings with my Sangha (group, or “who we travel with”) and online mtgs with other Sanghas when I need 'em. I might try to pop onto this thread when said gems are still fresh in my mind and heart and share them here.
What sticks out? Right now, the stuff on shame and forgiveness:
Background: I had a long road trip for the day last Sunday, and the way down felt so heavy. Felt like I was carrying a ton of “stuff” (icky thoughts, feelings, shame, anxiety). No matter how fast or slow I went, what route I took, I couldn’t get rid of it! Couldn’t outrun it! I caught myself thinking about the wine store at the location I was headed to. I actually gasped when I saw how automatic the mental impulse is. What a good way to drown out such discomfort, hey? With wine. The very thing that has caused so much discomfort! Gave some thought to what I’ve been reading, what’s starting to sink in…
From Recovery Dharma, p.10 in my copy:
“We do not rely on tools of shame and fear as motivation. We know these haven’t worked in our own individual pasts, and have often created more struggle and suffering through relapse and discouragement. The courage it takes to recover from addiction is ultimately courage of the heart, and we aim to support each other as we commit to this brave work.”
And from p.17 in my copy:
So many of us have hearts that are tender and worn raw from the suffering we’ve experienced. Many of us have collected layers of trauma which often led us to seek temporary relief in our addictive behavior. But then, through our addiction, we added more layers of demoralization and shame that hardened around our hearts. On top of those layers are the ones we built for our protection: all the ways we’ve run from pain, all the ways we’ve pushed people away in fear of being vulnerable, all the ways we’ve shut parts of ourselves off in order to adapt to what often feels like a hostile world.
We started to recover when we let ourselves believe in the part of us that’s still there beneath all those layers we’ve collected and built—the pure, radiant, courageous heart where we find our potential for awakening
My return trip felt much lighter! This is strange - as I am usually more restless and find the road monotonous by this point. The following night, we did the Forgiveness meditation at my meeting. It is powerful and intense, and I have much work to do to forgive myself for things, including the layers of shame I’ve built up around my heart. But, peeling them back, day by day, is recovery. It’s not easy, no. But it’s a labour of love. For myself! And yourself!
And that makes me smile. 
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Deep, meaningful stuff!
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Wow, beautiful work!! Thank you for sharing.
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Someone asked me once what I was afraid of. Interesting question. I’m afraid of being broke & having too much idle time. But I’m also afraid of employment.
I’m afraid of relationships, but I’m afraid of meeting people.
I’m afraid of chaos in my life, but I’m afraid of stability.
I a larger sense, I’m just afraid of being alive. So the title caught my eye : “The Places That Scare You”. Found what I was looking for almost immediately when I began reading. I’ll post more when I collect my thoughts. But I believe I’ve found the niche I fit in, recovery wise.
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A couple weeks ago I was in a potential active shooter situation. As I secured the facility I worked in, I wasn’t scared. Didnt even phase me. But there are things that scare the crap out of me
I pondered why I wasnt even phased. Maybe the ex military guy in me, maybe I am broken.
That is why I picked this book
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Ita been hard to find quite time to read, since our guest arrived to the campsite. It’s been an exercise in patience, compassion and loving kindness…havent been successful 100% of the time as my patience has been tested. However, the trip wasn’t “ruined”, a day hasnt been ruined, an hour hasnt been ruined. Just a few moments in time, have been uncomfortable and I havent been the most understanding. Growth…but not where I need to be.
I did read this tonight, and it struck a chord about fear:
from “The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times (Shambhala Classics)” by Pema Chödrön -
“Equanimity is bigger than our usual limited perspective. That we hope to get what we want and fear losing what we have—this describes our habitual predicament. The Buddhist teachings identify eight variations on this tendency to hope and fear: pleasure and pain, praise and blame, gain and loss, fame and disgrace. As long as we’re caught in one of these extremes, the potential for the other is always there. They just chase each other around. No lasting happiness comes from being caught in this cycle of attraction and aversion.”
Not only fear, but the moments of time that I have been tested this weekend. Those moments were tested because of extremes.
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Should have kept reading last night
from “The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times (Shambhala Classics)” by Pema Chödrön -
“We can never get life to work out so that we eliminate everything we fear and end up with all the goodies. Therefore the warrior-bodhisattva cultivates equanimity, the vast mind that doesn’t narrow reality into for and against, liking and disliking”
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I love that little book. I need to order a physical copy of it. I keep going back to what I read last night…and what you posted. My discomfort level is growing…and I cant snap out of it.
A synopsis of events: Ms. Monkey is my age. Her sister is 18 years older. The boyfriend, 7 years older than her…
He knows everything about everything. Can do everything absolutely better. Has an opinion on every little things. And absolutely loves to laugh at the individuals around him. I cannot pickup my phone with out a , “there he goes again, playing on his phone” Every time I explain what I am doing. Either reading my book…or checking on here. I have been doing well this trip.
Then today he comes out with his Vietnam Veteran shirt on.
The problem, for me, he isnt a veteran…never served… If the word veteran wasnt on the shirt, I would have zero prolem.
I keep cycling back in my mind, that this is my discomfort. My discomfort really comes from trying to be better, tolerating him better. I just cant get through this one
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This is M speaking - not Pema!, but is there a way to (compassionately, mentally) “disarm” him? It’s so tough! and I don’t really get it - but on the one hand, I know I need to acknowledge my thoughts (I have siblings who I struggle to see as anything other than first class a-holes) and feel my feelings, and on the other hand, also recognize that reality is not my thoughts and feelings.
I ask you this actually seeking your answer, because it will help me, and not suggesting you do this, but is there some way we can let ourselves feel the discomfort, but also keep some core of ourselves untouchable?
I will find the passage, but Anne Lamott wrote something about each of us having an emotional acre - some where we could decide who we let in and who we don’t. Seems he doesn’t belong…
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Honestly, I dont think so. I think he just doesnt care.
I need to set in my discomfort and learn from it.
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Ouch, a Vietnam Vet shirt and never served? Just wow.
The little book is the best and I thank you for posting from it so I would be inspired to buy a copy. A hard copy is a great idea. It is small and sweet and full of good stuff.
Feeling our way thru discomfort is often easier said than done, but here you are doing it…imperfectly and humanly.
That said, please don’t punch him. 
Maybe a walk in the woods for you and Ms. M…walk thru the discomfort… 
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Ms. Monkey is about too. We have been going on short bike rides…
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Lol, I love her.
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