So today I had to go to my daughters school for the starting of the new year. As I’m waiting in line (very uncomfortable) I realize how I am the only person that is bright red and sweating profusely. This always happens and I am super embarrassed about it and it’s all because of my drinking. This alone should be enough for me to quit. Also been thinking of my health more lately as I am only a few years away from 50. I have been drinking hard for a very long time. I don’t want to do this anymore but I just want to be over it. Not on day one again.
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Well growing up my father was a bad alcoholic and I never remember smelling it on him. He just always smelled like Dad. I’m sure different people react differently to it though. I know it affects my blood pressure and everything really. I even know other alcoholics that don’t sweat or aren’t red like me. I guess it’s my body really telling me it’s enough. Knowing that is the easy part though.
I know what your saying though. I probably have developed an allergic reaction to it. More reason to quit I guess. I just want more sober time. It feels pointless continuously starting over. But I know it’s part of it.
Recovery is work and lots of it. No way around it. It’s a work of love though. Love for yourself in the first place, love for your loved ones, love for the world. Work your sobriety by whatever means necessary. Sharing about it here and/or at other places is part of that work. Lots of that work is fun and grateful too. Like discovering who you really are. One thing I’m absolutely sure of is we can’t do it alone. Alone it’s too much. Together we have a chance of beating addiction. One day at a time. Let’s do this Jay.
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@Mno thanks for these words. A good reminder to all. @Dontwantdrunk stay with it, you are not alone.
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The good news is that you want to stop drinking and have identified positive goals and negative impacts.
The bad news for me in this situation was that this would take effort and work. I was a pretty sick drunk and I needed counseling, medication (Antabuse), AA and intervention by the legal system. But I was willing to do all of it, to do whatever it took. Maybe you’re not that far gone yet. But you will need to work and hurt a little to get the freedom you want.
Check out this thread for ideas : Resources for our recovery
Blessings on your house 
as you begin your journey.
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Try being a part of a sober community this is a great place to start, take it easy just do your best to make it through the day sober. Reach out ask for help if you need to talk, alot of people here that can relate to the uncomfortable feeling. You dont have to be alone in the battle. Take care, God bless.
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Thank you sir.