Hi all,
I was sober for 35 days and feeling good but somehow i got it into my head that I could start again and “moderate” my drinking. False. After a few days of this I got wasted again and now I feel like a failure. This has happened 3 times now after k started again. Does anyone have any advice or support? Thanks.
Just remember that the little voice telling you to drink is a liar everything it says is a lie all it wants is your downfall and just take it One Day at a Time 
Hey Charlie, I’ve been there more times than I can count and have also had over 3 years sobriety. Lapses happen, but you came back and that’s what’s important. For me, one drink of drinking “controllably” is impossible. One is too many and a thousand is never enough. Don’t beat yourself up, just keep coming back and doing the work and you’ve got this! 
I agree with @Monkey in that the first step is realizing that this addict voice tells only lies. I know for myself that when i hear these lies, i have to then do something about it. If i sit there and stew on those thoughts of moderation or that it will be different this time, i risk potentially relapsing. So instead, Ill use distraction to help, self care, and ive even told my addict voice to “F off!” out loud. It all has helped me. Also… reminding myself of why i quit in the first place has been very useful. I wrote my reasons down on a piece of paper so that i can read it when i feel the urge to use/drink. Hope this helps! Glad ur back with us 
I agree with @Butterflymoonwoman that telling that voice where to go when it starts up can be powerful.
I gave mine a name. She is called f@#k face. F@#k face is very stupid and only wants bad things for me. In the beginning I used to tell f@#k face to f@#k off a lot as she always tried to get in my head. I’m nearly 8 months alcohol free now and that voice is rarely around.
I also think giving meetings a try is important, I never thought they were for me but I really enjoy online meetings (I’m a bit of an introvert). There’s a link here which has loads of different meetings every week. You can even just listen in with camera off to start with if you want.
https://www.intherooms.com/public/login
i called mine the same lol
Hells yeah you did 
stoopid name for a stoopid voice!!!
I said out loud this morning while at the supermarket checkout “shut up you utter c#@t” and then realised everyone was looking at me lol bloody voice
love it!!!
I had 37 days ago 3 weeks back…got in my head and drank. I’ve drank everyday since. Trying to get back on track. Hang in there. Tomorrow is another day.
I have definitely been there. For me what helps with those thoughts of moderation is to remind myself of what I’m really looking for when I’m craving. When the addict voice says “you can have just one or two glasses of wine tonight”…I remind myself I don’t want one or two glasses…I want a bottle or two…I want to drink to zone out until I blackout/passout. That usually helps snap me out of the romanticized version of drinking. Because passing out is the ugly truth of where my drinking takes me but it’s NOT what I really want for myself. I want to enjoy my night, spend time with my loved ones, and spend time on my self care. None of that would happen when I used to bring liquor home after work.
Awesome job reaching out. Keep it up! You can do hard things!
Ha ha, mine has a name too! Not so orginal but it does the trick for me: Winewitch 
Hi @Charlie6987
I had a few relapses in the beginning of my recovery, all around the 3 months mark and 1 after 5 (!) years of sobriaty.
I tried to learn from every relapse in the hope to avoid a new one. Like the others already mentioned is you have to find a way dealing with your addiction voice. You listened 3 times to it to try moderation and it didn’t work out well. So now you know 
We both learned it the hard way, like many others do. So it learned us something, but relapses are also a big toll on our body and mind.
Like I read somewhere someone saying: “I do not have another relapse in me”. Like: if I had another relapse I do not know if I have the strenght and power again to become sober.
So let this be your last relapse, because you’ve learned that you can’t moderate 
Do not let addiction win, listen to that second voice in your head, because she’s there too (yes she’s a women in my head too ).
See you around Karissa! 
Maybe try a meeting might help ,they helped me to stay sober and no relapses upto date. after i got on the program my head was full of sobriety no room for the Booze Whisper ,
