After 4 months sober and feeling good relapsed into a ten day binge, went off sick at work and now starting again. Am on day 5 today and really searching for why it happened and how I can stop it again. This is my third relapse in 12 months always at the 4 months mark. Anyone else had similar issues?
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Welcome Jimbob! 
Glad to see you made it back, not everyone does. We are the lucky ones.
I cannot relate to your situation but I will share what has worked to keep me from relapsing so far.
- intensive outpatient program
- Changed people, places and things
- AA program and meetings in person and online
- Coming to this forum daily to read and interact
- Calling or texting with other alcoholic(s)
- Sober activities and hobbies
Most importantly is that I make my sobriety a priority no matter what.
Wishing you the best on your journey!
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Our bodies forget the pain. Our minds forget the struggle. Hindsight be like that.
Before finding this community, I tried sobriety on my own. Every time I felt better, I forgot what it was like and went right back to it.
I feel having a community allows us to share our story and hear other’s story therefore we never forget the pain or the struggle.
That has helped keep me sober for 5+ years.
Welcome to the show!
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Currently in a similar boat, you’re not alone when it comes to relapses or feeling like you’re “good enough again” to control your drinking, that’s for sure.
Im still in the learning process as you are, but like @HoofHearted never forget the pain or struggle.
I noticed when I’ve forgot about the pain or struggle or thought I’d never go through it again, that’s when id say it’s okay to have one drink for whatever reason, next thing I knew I was back to withdrawals and the benders.
I’m back on day 8 , my longest without a drink was just a little over half a year.
I was re-reading one of my journal entries from the summer from my of my “quitting drinking” days before I -relapsed- and honestly I can remember how wicked those withdrawals were . They’re were honestly so painful, and terrible and I was experiencing dt’s. It was crazy I did it without medical assistance because those withdrawals were wicked . Seriously.
I’ll never forget those shake, tremors, rapid heart beat, turning red, my eyes turned blood shot, heavy breathing, sweating, aches and pains. The top of my head was so sore I couldn’t even explain to you how brutal it was. I was hearing weird trumpet / classical music coming from my bathroom and shower. I could swear I could hear people talking in other rooms when they weren’t. I felt like everyone was out to get me & was watching me. And I kept seeing weird things / “shadow people” from the corner of my eyes. That was literally what hell felt like.
Truly though, I also think about how much I hate hangovers, and how I need to drink right when I wake up to cure a hangover. Vomiting every morning is rough. I do not miss that . I smelled of alcohol so bad, I had no idea but everyone knew around me.
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Thanks guys. It feels like hell this time, @Drew95 the withdrawal was similar for me. Probably have lost my ten year partner as well. I am going to get to meetings next week and have started journalling as well
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It is right everytime you say never again, but each time it’s been I will just have one and it will be different this time, but never is
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