I got to day 7 and relapsed. I’m trying to not judge myself. I’ve been trying to do it on my own because my social anxiety keeps me from meetings. I have to go. I have to keep telling myself that AA/Smart is there to help, not judge. I also have a handout from my boss at work for programs that my job pays for. I won’t give up. Those 7 days were happy ones. Not waking up with a hangover, guilt and shame made me feel great. I look at all the people who have so much time on here. I want that.
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That’s so good that you’ve got the support of your employer. Absolutely take help offered. Try out the options and stick with what works. But don’t do this alone. There’s no need to go through anything alone again x
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Pretty much everyone here has been there and done that with the relapse and self judgement/beating oneself up, so I know where you’re coming from.
From my own experience of AA, you will not be judged, only welcomed with open arms. It’s free and there is no commitment, so give it a shot. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
You did 7, stumbled, time to do just 1 more day.
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I don’t know if it helps, but SMART has online meetings which may be a little easier for you to start?
At any rate, don’t judge yourself, try to learn from it. Perhaps now you know that little bit more about yourself and how you can stay sober for longer.
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No one shows up to AA because the life is raining puppy dogs and rainbows. What ever program you decided on will change your life for the better. I resisted help for 24 years. The day I stepped into an AA meeting I started to live a sober life. You are worth a sober life.
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Lol one of my favorite quotes goes like that. “No one shows up on the doorstep of AA because they’re on a winning streak.”
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I went to AA bc I was singing to loud in the church choir.
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