Very upset with myself. I used a lot. Back to square one. I was so proud of myself 2 days ago. I threw it away. I got cocky thinking I could be around people and in places since I didn’t use 2 days ago. 
I need to be stronger and stand up and say no not just go with the flow. Maybe its tome for a meeting or something
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This would hepl tremendously
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You’re not alone. I’m struggling to stop the cycle too
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Hey there…I’m sorry that you’re struggling. It sounds though like you have the ability to recognize that hoping and wishing and doing the same thing you’ve always done just doesn’t work.
For me in my sobriety, it stuck when I decided to build my life AROUND my sobriety. I stopped going to the places where drugs and alcohol were. Stopped hanging out with the people I used and drank with. Read literature that was focused on sobriety. Engaged in activities that coincided with sobriety (helping others, being in nature, doing yoga etc)
My whole way of living had to shift into a sober way of living before I had any success. Then it became a heck of a lot easier to get sober days in. Then…over time…this way of being became natural. At this point (about 5.5 years later) the old way of living/existing feels as foreign to me as sobriety seemed back then.
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Definitely change places, people, things you do I’m on day 10, tried many many times, and definitely definitely stay on here strength sent to you
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What are you doing on a daily basis to seek outside help to stay clean?
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I have been doing this on my own. I think it’s time to go to meetings or see someone
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Very sensible try a meeting might help they helped me stay sober wish you well