So I woke up today cryin go and not remembering what happened and conversations happened. I know I spazzed out and I really ended up hurting my partner emotionally. I know that whiskey isn’t the best to me and I’m really disappointed in myself rn. All he wanted to do was have a good night with me and get drinks and I really messed it all up because someone said something to me that I didn’t feel was ok to say to me. I really want to stop drinking I really just need the support to do it. I feel so horrible about last night I don’t think he will even talk to me even if I tell him sorry. Pray for me and my recovery. I reallly want to be sober.
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What do you do to stay sober? Wishful thinking isn’t enough as you can read around everywhere and know yourself.
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Definitely an uncomfortable situation.
Saying you want to be sober is one thing, actually doing things to stay sober is another.
Since joining this forum you’ve spent a total of ~10 mins reading topics, with half of those minutes recently (likely today).
Might be time to get involved, get reading, and get active in the forum and other avenues of sober support.
Wanting sober is not enough - if it was we’d all have been sober long ago,
You really can do this.
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The first time I quit was after a horrible fight with my bf(ex) that was all on me. He didn’t talk to me for 3 days. I knew if I didn’t quit right then, he’d leave. I didn’t know what to do but I knew it had to be something different than what I was doing. God knows why, but first thing I did was go to church after 20 years away. Then I found this place and read all day every day. Finally I took everyone’s advice and tried AA. Things were going great but then covid happened and I relapsed. Turned out that guy wasn’t worth it anyways.
This time I did it for me. I knew I was the only person that could change my life. No one can do it for you. Having the support of others like us is important in recovery, but none of that matters if you’re not putting in the work. Read around and find out what’s worked for others. Then ask yourself what you’re willing to do. Nothing changes if nothing changes.
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this is what i have found most helpful in my recovery! even something as simple as reply to a post once a day.
i’ve attended a few online meetings too, and it’s been helpful hearing other people’s experiences.
it’s taken me a few times to realise the difference between wishing to be sober and actually putting in the effort. i’m still early on (coming up to 30 days) but i’m learning to say no to certain plans AND certain people that aren’t good for my recovery.
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Definitely agree with this!! Active engagement really helps to ground me and remind me daily of why it is I have made my choices, and what I want 
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yep, 100%
when i’ve relapsed before, i realised it’s because i stopped engaging with the community, which meant i stopped thinking about why i wanted to be sober in the first place!
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What’s done is done. You are not alone. I’ve done and said things when drunk I will forever regret. And I’ve relapsed many times. Though consequences of relapsing can be awful, there are lessons to be learned. So you pick yourself up and get back on track. You can examine what went wrong, how you got pulled off course. You can look at what tools you have been using to stay sober. Maybe add some more tools. This is a journey well worth the effort, so hang in there! Sending you strength and 
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I have been there many times. I see two faults in your logic (stinking thinking).
- You wanted a good night drinking like a normie. If you can’t do this naturally you can’t learn how to do it. You only need to look to your own past to see if you can drink like a normie or not. Accepting that ‘one drink = many drinks = disaster’ is the hardest and most freeing thing you can do.
- Someone said something to you and you wanted to drink “at them”. Again you have to accept that this only hurts yourself (not the other person) and makes the whole situation worse.
I struggled for decades with both of these. And honestly, there are times when I have to chant to myself “there is nothing a drink won’t make worse”.
We are here to support. When drinking is so instilled in you as coping mechanism you need structure to remove it. Have you read quit lit? Gone to meetings?
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Plenty of support out there make the effort and seek out one they will help wish you well
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One thing that helps is to create “safer” outings such as going out to play putput golf or going on a coffee shop and walk around date etc things that don’t revolve around drinking. I was sober for 10 years before i decided to “experiment” and in the beginning I know for sure it’s best to avoid certain situations. This is for the future of course… But if it makes you feel any better I have that super endearing quality too, once I drink my mouth has always gotten the better of me… then you wake up hung over and you’re like why why why the hell did I think it was a good idea to say that… (face palm) all we can do is say ok, that happened… i need to be a better human today… make new choices and move forward in a way that doesn’t negate my inward morality compass. I think when you choose that everyday it becomes who you are. Hopefully you’re able to apologize but recognize that words are just words until there is some action behind it…that’s the only way for it to be sincere. So genuinely try giving sobriety a shot then come through with an apology that has weight to it… and even if he doesn’t forgive you atleast you’re unlikely to do it again to someone else without alcohol being there to loosen the tongue.
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