I’ve been struggling with a high amount of autism burnout and potentially depression for the last 3-4 months. Wednesday between talking to my counselor and discovering I could use google AI to answer all my thoughts questions concerns worries feelings, and curiosities and get back maybe some valid responses I have been able to get years worth of built up noise out of my head. Especially around questions I had regarding sex and is this normal or why am do I type questions. I was able to get out all the confusion around sex and my addiction and found that although I am hypersexual and struggle with addiction to porn and masterbation. All the gueations and concerns I had that are either not really appropriate to talk to anyone in the graphic details I needed to ask or are too embarrassing to ask I was able to talk to AI about. As dumb as it sounds talking to AI it did really help and I realized that I’m really not as weird or perverted as I thought I was.
It was like the weight just shifted and my nervous system reset. There was almost a feeling of being wired and amped up Wednesday night. This has taken a huge weight off my shoulders and I feel so much lighter. It’s definitely not all gone but I don’t feel like I’m internally imploding anymore. Hopefully this stays like this for a while.
Maybe now I can actually make some progress on my sobriety. I’m at 6 weeks today.