Oh dear…i relapsed yesterday because of a dog!i do feel bad but not how i used to feel where id wallow in self pity drinking more ive put down the bottle accepted it on the positive my livers had an 11week holiday from the 120+units i was drinking a week(sat i had 20 still excessive).i have to use humour but dont mistake that for finding it funny i dont!my background my mum was is a heavy drinker at 21 i was in detox at wentworth house eccles manchester at 35weeks pregnant because i started drinking at 15 because emotionally i wasnt getting what i needed from familyi was a child that makes me sad.my triggers for drinking are stress in 2015 i was working at franklaw united utilities uk during the water crisis i dont want to go into that because i struggle to look back at it it was awful and the stress that bad it caused my boss at 30 to hang himself.at the same time my son who was 15at the time was seriously assaulted during an unsupervised pe lesson he was strangled unconcious delibrately by the local thug!!hes been diagnosed one down from ptsd and ive lied to my gp all ive been diagnosed as having is ocd which relates only to my kids safety im obsessive i stalk them ill send the police to welfare check my son at my exs if he doesnt return a text that hes ok(my ex lovely guyno concerns over his treatment of harrison)its outside influences i worry about i think i have ptsd but im scared to get a diagnosies.i think im a very genuine and kind person but i feel at times people see that as a weakness and try to take advantage.im very calm until i feel backed into a corner then i come out fighting.so four weeks ago my friend of five years asks me to have her dog while she goes away to tenerefe ive never met this dog because she doesnt want me at her house?i dont like dogs when i was 11 i was pulled by my hair to the floor by a dog that dragged me into a road biting me so its a genuine fear she knows everything ive felt over five years she knows i dont like dogs yet insisted to try and inflict hers on me she has family friends and a daughter of 23!!last night i sent her the worst text drunk omg awful i wasnt having her smelly dog how dare she ask me and expect me to pick up its shit!!usually if drunk and i speak out of turn ill apologise …im sober and dont want to!!!while i could of chose my words better im not remorseful…is that wrong??
Tl;Dr but I gather from the title that a dog held you down and poured booze down your throat? Bc that’s the only way a dog can make you relapse. Otherwise the dog is just an excuse and the reason you drank is because you weren’t treating your disease. I suggest making a few additions to your program and starting anew.
Ok the dog was actually my excuse but yeah a dog was my trigger
Getting diagnosed and receiving the proper treatment for your conditions are the best things you can do for yourself. Knowing there’s a problem, but being scared of the outcome is normal, but it is not serving you in any way. Getting help for your known issues is the responsible thing to do. You’re not helping your family and friends by avoiding proper diagnosis.
Courage is feeling afraid but doing the right thing anyway. So do the right thing.
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One way would be is to advocate for yourself.
This is no easy task because it takes practice
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Next time just say no