Relapse - Do I Hide It?

Emotional Support
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I’m sitting here right now with the empty food containers in front of me. I didnt even enjoy eating it all, so why did I? My boyfriend keeps saying how proud he is of me, and I just had a binge… do I even tell him? I ate more than double what I need in a day while I was supposed to be getting ready for the gym. My brain is telling me to hide the food containers, to lie, and pretend I didnt just binge. I dont know what to do. I dont even enjoy the food anymore, I just keep eating…

Do I tell those that were rooting for me?

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It’s up to you. All I can say is that lying (in this case not telling is lying too IMO), hiding stuff, not telling how we are, what we are doing, how we are feeling, all is part of addiction. And one of the main components of Recovery is honesty. Honesty is part of the work. We can only grow through honesty and our relationship also can grow only though being honest with each other. Not saying it’s easy. And never sure about the outcome of such honesty too. Wishing you all success Kate. And welcome to Talking Sober. Hugs.

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Food addiction is a tough one, as we need to eat to survive. The fact that you are asking the question indicates that you are feeling guilty, and you feel a need to be accountable. I would think about what triggered the binge, whether or not you used your tools leading up to it, and what you will do going forward to make another binge less likely. Then I’d tell my partner, if they are the one to whom I hold myself accountable.

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In the depths of my addiction, I never thought of revealing a lapse in that way. It’s comforting to consider it in that light.

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It is certainly tough to fess up, I spent a lot of time hiding relapses and trying to avoid the shame and guilt I would feel telling my boyfriend about it. I think the people who are rooting for you care about you just as much when things are hard as when they’re going well, and will be there to support you and help you get through this tough time if you give them a chance.

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The addict mind wants us to hide our addictions, because were free to continue with addict behaviors when we’re not being held accountable.

Holding ourselves accountable is a step in the right direction. It will be uncomfortable, it may hurt others, but that is the price of growth.

Do you hide it? I would say the more appropriate question is, do you want to hold yourself accountable?

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No, you should not.

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I second what people already wrote. For me hiding meant keeping it to myself. Being honest was like closing a door behind me. Sneaking out back. With eating this is extremely fucking difficult. It’s like standing there naked. For me it was: alcohol, yeah no problem. Eating, woaaaaah, completely different story here. Like the last straw I can have for me. Like my home base.