I disappeared from here for a minute, the grind of life was hitting hard. I’m still mostly sober, but I’ve had a couple relapse hiccups. How do others view hiccups? I’m trying not to let it get into my bigger mentality, my delicate psyche is greatly impacted by the shame spiral. But that is easier said than done.
To put it more clearly, my “hiccups” have been me drinking on two different nights. Specifically the last two Friday nights, a series of events ended in me getting drinks. Both Saturdays I was crazy sick (lots of stomach issues and I take medication that can impact things). I’m going to try to break the cycle this week because it’s a miserable way to spend my weekend but it is interesting that I keep stumbling there.
So I guess I have 52 days sober with some hiccups. Wish I felt more proud of myself for it. Wish I felt happier.
The hiccups were before you decided to drink the two fridays. You needed to do something to get rid of those hiccups, like hold your breath. Drinking didnt fix the hiccups it made you sick. I would see it as a relapse slip, you over indulged purposely and now are regret it. If you allow yourself to keep hiccuping without accountability you will not stay sober. My best advice is start over, the day after your last drink and this time look for those pre hiccup signs. I only say this bc i relapsed after a 15 months and said well no ive come to far im not resetting my time only to find myself keep drinking.
I have to agree with @Mindofsobermike here. There were times I’d go a while sober, drink only one night, and decide I didn’t need to reset my timer bc I continued on being ‘sober’ afterwards. I finally realized that was just my addiction lying to me to convince me it was okay to slip up every now and then so it could get what it wanted, which worked. I don’t think resetting the timer erases any sobriety you’ve accumulated, but I do think that any time spent drinking hinders you from progressing in your recovery. Instead of getting down on yourself, keep trying new things until something works for you. It took me a long time to get where I am now, but the key was to never stop trying
Any day sober is a day to be proud of. But if we start calling relapses anything other than what they are we just open ourselves up to normalizing the behavior. If you can justify drinking 2 Fridays what’s to stop you from justifying every Friday. Then why not every Friday and Saturday.
Use your guilt as a motivator to change instead of an excuse. The results will come
