I acted out to porn and masturbation. It has been a struggle to get abstinent. I just keep on getting back up. I want to get abstinent because I want to have healthy thoughts. I want to have integrity and fortitude. I want to have self control. Acting out I feel it creates insanity in my brain 
and I feel disconnected from people every time I cave in. I just do not know how to stop. Someday I will get there. Thanks for letting me check this in.
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@joshieg87 Welcome to talking sober Josh, you’re in the right place.
it’s funny you mention healthy thinking. think back before you relapsed, and tell me what you were
- doing
- thinking
- feeling
right before you started watching the porn this time.
(what triggered you)
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Welcome Josh! I personally do not have ur addiction (mine is drugs and alcohol), but there are many others on here that do. Im sure they can provide a ton of useful information 
Im glad ur not giving up on urself. I think for many of us, we use our addictions to cope with life and intense emotions. We just want to feel comfortable in our own skin. Are there things that u can do to distract urself when u have the urge to act out?
Addiction wants us to isolate and feel miserable. So maybe before u give into ur addiction next time, come on here and let us help u thru it! Thats what i did every time i craved drugs. Talking about it with others who understand, helps so much! Hope to see u posting more.
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I want to know what you’re support system looks like. Does anyone know about your behavior? Are you in a 12step fellowship?
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Keep going brother you are in the right place and with consistency comes clarity this addiction to pornography and masturbation is ruining every good thing, it makes you weak, unmotivated and lose interest in the beautiful love so I’m happy you have decided to fight this sexual lust out of your life, it shouldn’t be anywhere close to you anymore I want you to hate this disease with passion
Day 1 sober from Masturbation
Day 5 sober from Porn, Dating apps, social media, phone sexting, sexting