Relapse is not worth it

Relapses
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Take it slow, one day or even one moment at a time. Whatever it takes, do it.

I have come to the point that no matter how much I want to drink, if I relapse I will die.

I was not an everyday drinker, not even every weekend. But, I loved to party, so when I drank, it was a good amount. This went on since my teens and I never had anyone show me why I needed to stop. I’ve met my partners and friends in bars, my work has a liquor cabinet. I have lived surrounded by alcohol.

I had my last drink on November 2nd 2018, and it was at a party that I consumed several bottles of wine. When I left the table there were 9 empty bottles between 4 of us. I was sick an hour after I stopped drinking, and I have stayed sick since then. I have to will myself to eat and make it to the gym. I thought I finally beat this habit, even though I still crave it, I am in a great place knowing I don’t NEED it. I want to be healthy, I want to live, I want a second chance. I’m ready to work for it.

My lab results last week from finally going to the doctor show liver failure.

I have to wait for more tests to see how bad it is. This anxiety is more painful than any hangover.

I beg you. Find your reason to quit poisoning your body. Get help to get your mind right. Work on helping others get to your milestones of sobriety.

I will live the rest of my possibly short life with insurmountable regret that I did this to myself.
My son may grow up without a mom, my partner may have to live our dreams with someone else. All because I chose this addictive fluid in a bottle.

I have run out of second chances. It will be a miracle if it’s not cirrhosis.

Don’t be the one who took your second chance away from yourself. You have the power to choose a vibrant healthy life away from this toxic death.

Please stop drinking.

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Thank you for sharing this!
My mind wandered a bit for the first time in 3 weeks of being alcohol free to a thought of the old romantic idea of the lies we all got caught up in.
Your post reminded me why I am choosing a new way of living.

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Sobriety is not a game, it’s life or death. Sobriety is more than just not drinking, it’s a whole lifestyle change, not picking up is only half of the work to be done.

Sending some prayers your way that you have not done irreversible damage to your body.

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I’m sorry to hear this! Keep praying and I agree drinking is not worth it. Took me over 20 years to realize that.

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Thank you for sharing your painful truth. A good reminder to live each day to the fullest and sober AF. Wishing you peace and a good day with your family.

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Absolutely. Relapse equals death for me. Maybe not right away but it will happen…one way or another. It was awful watching my mother die because of alcohol. I can’t do that to the people who love me too.

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I will pray that your tests turn out better than you fear.

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Powerful words @JackieDaniels It is a lethal disease if not treated. I wish you all the best and many years full of good life. You are in my thoughts tonight.

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First and foremost, stop thinking about the test… it’s counterproductive!

Last June, I went and had labs done. My Doctored told me the exact same thing! Liver failure, MRI & CT scans were needed and to prepare myself for the inevitable. I told him no more test. I’ll be back in 6 months to re-test. I’m changing my lifestyle.

From that day forward, I STOP DRINKING EVERYTHING! Only fluid that went in to my body was water, coffee and tea. I ate only healthy meals. Chicken and Salmon… and only green veggies. No fruits/sugars and very little carbs. (I did have a cheat meal once a week) I exercised an hour a day 5-6 times a week. Plus, vitamins and supplements. Took Milk Thistle religiously!!!

I had my labs re-done a week ago (8 months from the devasting news) Everything was completely normal. The Dr told me this is completely amazing, all my numbers were like a never drank in my life!

The liver can still heal itself! I never hit the point of jaundice, just ache and pain in the liver area…

I hope you find hope in my story, and you take your healing seriously!

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Thanks for sharing. I hope you will find the right medical treatment you need. I heard today in a meeting that there is no trying, only doing. You can die trying. I tend to forget that and live in my own fantasy world that I can keep up my behavior and can “stop tomorrow.” But those “tomorrows” have really been adding up, and since this is a progressive disease, I need to be as real with myself as possible. Thanks for the reality check.

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Thanks for sharing such an honest post I will remember ur words they have really made me think…i wish you well and hope it results are ok for u and ur family xx

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yeap-real easy to go from detox to RETOX
php
but get back in the sober swing of things
just a bump in the road…

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That must be really scary for you. Please do all you can to stop drinking and get healthy. Keep us updated. We are here for you. Lots of good people on herr. Hugs

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