I relapsed and drank… I did something I’m really not proud of I’m on day 11 of sobriety. I’m living in a weekly motel and just working all the time, currently wearing an alcohol monitor. I keep trying to remind myself that the things I did when I drank are not the real me. But it’s going to haunt me forever… I am more than sorry for the things I’ve done to myself and for hurting people that love me. I never want to drink again.
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I just hit day 12 actually. But that doesnt matter. I want it out of my life and far away from me for the rest of my life
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Hey buddy…glad to have you back here. I had wondered where you went. Congrats on 12 days back at it. What are your plans on making sobriety stick this time?
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I’m almost a week in and dealing with a lot of shame and guilt myself…
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Thanks. At this point I cant drink by law or I’ll go to jail. Honestly thinking about a drink just makes me sick. If I do get cravings I’m just going to hit a meeting right away. I’ve been going to them daily. And I’m just focusing really hard on work and trying to make my girlfriend happy. I just dont want to be so selfish anymore I’ve spent years acting like a baby. I’m open to suggestions if anyone has any
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Yeah. My boss is years into his sobriety and he said hes really worried about me sitting in this motel alone, and he told me just remember all the things you did when you were loaded that wasnt the real you. Then he told me some horror stories about things he did he regrets. But I’d say the same thing to you. It doesnt seem like that’s who you want to be and it’s in the past. So maybe let’s at least try to flip that switch and think positively… its f…ing hard though
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I’m glad to hear that you’re going to meeting a. As many as it takes right?
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Welcome back! Tomorrow is a new day, I know you will make it count!!
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I take Kudzu Root 750 mg 3 tabs after lunch daily and it really helps me with the cravings
I really recommend it. No side effects because it’s herbal. I get it on Amazon. Also read Allen Carr books stop drinking without willpower… changed my life. Also on Amazon. Stay strong
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I am grateful you have a safe, clean place to stay. I hope you have some music to listen to and have had a decent meal. Try and get some sleep kid, Imagine what a mess you would be if you didn’t care about your bad behavior, you’d be doomed.
There is hope for you and we are here, although there are former scoundrels among us.
I forgive you…
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Just because you’ve done bad things, it doesn’t make you a bad person.
In time you will forgive yourself. You won’t forget though, and that will help you to stay sober. Hang in there.
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Thanks so much yeah that’s all I’ve been doing is working and eating and playing music. Thanks for forgiving me.
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That’s what I’m hoping for this may be a necessary evil thanks
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As many as it takes, right
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Hey man, sorry to hear about your situation. But I’m very glad you are doing things to make this stick. I’ve done some things that will always leave me with shame. I’ve forgiven myself, but will never forget the things that I did while living that life. I use that shame as one of my greatest tools against going back. That person is just one drink away. I can’t be that person ever again, so I can’t drink ever again.
Don’t get me wrong, at this point I don’t live IN shame. But I know what that shame feels like the instant l think about drinking. They are tied so closely that one will always come with the other.
Welcome back brother. Between meetings and us here, you have an infinite well of knowledge and support!
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Welcome back. I see the pattern has continued, which I am sorry to hear. Back in December you’d just come off a bender and lost your long-term relationship. You kinda sorta had a plan, and a vague commitment to sobriety. I guess you still had some drinking left to do, and had some bottom left.
So is this bottom for you? Take a drink, loose your physical freedom? I know you want to do “whatever it takes”, but have you defined “whatever”? Will meetings and this forum be enough “whatever” to keep you sober? To keep you free?
Take a good hard look at what comes next, and next after that. Fix that in your mind, rather than beating yourself up for where you are, while staying where are. Instead, knowing what comes next, turn around and start moving to where you’d rather be. Sober, secure, free.
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I got physically sober by giving a breath sample 7 days a week, between 6 and 8 am at the local police station. If I drank or was late, off to jail I’d go.
I went to an AA meeting almost every day at that time. And I didn’t drink between awakening in the morning and going back to sleep at night. I did this for 5 months and got physically sober and made some spiritual progress too.
All my guilt and anger and self pity had to be put on hold while I got sober. In the 12&12, there is an admonition to leave justified anger to people better able to handle it. That’s how I thought about my past… I’d leave it out of my consciousness until I was better equipped to deal with it.
Blessings on your house 
.
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you said Never Again, in Spanish that is Nunca Mas, it’s a good one to say to yourself.
Nunca mas yall, xoxo
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That helps alot thanks. I’ll use it as a tool. Never want to be that person again
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