Relapse leading to Relapse

Relapses
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I re set my clock a couple days ago, I had almost made it to 90 days before that! And then last night I had a bottle of wine. My thought process was absurd “well, if I’ve already relapsed, I might as well have another drink before I get too far into sobriety again.”
I re set my clock again this morning, and instead of grumping around, I started reading through chats on this app. I saw so many great messages of encouragement and reinforcements of why to choose sober. I appreciate everyone here and the hope I feel toward a better future :two_hearts:

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Have to figure out what happened a couple days ago as it’s very important. Whatever gave your drinking voice the ability talk you into having one is our issue. We identify that, make a better support plan (call a fellow in recovery) before we drink/use. Anything other than drink. You’re back, that’s what matters.

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for me i had no defence so i got a sponsor and got on a program it helped me stay sober no relapses , and lift the phone before the drink a good foundation sober network will help doing it alone makes it harder wish you well

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well mines not a drinking relapse but i hear what your saying, i relapsed today and the only thing i could think was ‘well if im resetting the timer might aswell do a couple more’. I dont like doing it and it makes me feel sick afterwards because the little happiness i get from it feels nowhere near the happiness that i feel after a few days sober. anyone with advice to stop this mindset?

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Is it really happiness? I know, looking back, the good memories I had drinking and partying…were actually pretty sad. I was brainwashing myself that they were good memories

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Its funny isnt it during early sobriety i looked back on it as fun times and longing , now its like i can see it was mostly a lie especially when i was at my worst like all the stupid things i used to do and i cringe for example few years ago at an airport bar before a holiday i was pretending i was drinking responsibly as my wife had said it was ok to have a beer but i was sneakerly buying bottles as i was going to the smoking area and must of gone about 8 to 10 times :laughing: now i just think how sad it was i had to do that.

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