So I relapsed on Christmas Day. I told myself that it was ok to drink, that I don’t really have a problem. So I sipped champagne, and then more and then drank wine and then I did what I always do. I picked a fight with my husband. I mean, the problems we have are there without the drinking but when my guard is down and I drink I make it worse. I’m disappointed with myself. I had hit 45 days sober. Time to start the clock again.
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It’s all part of the journey. Sounds like you learned more and gathered more data about what relapse is like for you, and where drinking leads. I bet you can use that as additional fuel as you continue on your sobriety journey. Huge congratulations on coming right back here- you can do this!
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Glad you didn’t stay away too long, and that your owning your slip up and restarting your clock. You’ll be stronger for it. Welcome back
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Like it’s already been said here already sounds like you have reflected, now it’s time to get to work 
good for you you’re relapses don’t define you, it’s you’re courage to come back that does. Welcome home 
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That sure sounds familiar. Glad you are back. I found being active on here helped me stay focused on my goal…sobriety. it isn’t easy, it is a big change and it is 100% worth it.
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I hated that when it would happen to me. But then I’d convince myself again, over and over and over. I think what it was is that I had convinced myself that it was all psychological and that I was just being a failure for not being able to moderate. Just a few and I promised myself I would stop. It never happened and then I would be psychologically beating myself up afterward and feeling like a failure. What had finally sunk in and stuck was when I watched a video that looked at the organic and physical aspect of my alcohol addiction. Your brain has connected the chemicals in the alcohol to “ignite” the pleasure part of your brain. If you’re an alcoholic, too late, it is set. It has been set by our psychological need to continue to satisfy or even passify, that part of our brain by building that alcohol, or other addiction, as a “highway”. It brings on some pretty powerful feelings. As soon as that drop of alcohol hits your system, the “highway” to the pleasure part of your brain LIGHTS UP!! That’s why people are still alcoholics ten years after sobriety. That “highway” doesn’t go away. So, no matter how many times you talk to yourself and convince yourself to “just have one glass” or “just drink a few and stop”, a physiological precedence is already set and failure to moderate will happen. This is why we abstain altogether as addicts. Just one drink is too much…not for our psychological need, but too much for our physical/chemical make up. I hope this helps. We’ve all been there and sending you lots of strength 
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You’ve had a slip, you’ve built 45 days of sober muscles, use them and get back up immediately and get back on the track, you can do this
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Sounds like you need to make different arranges for quite a while.
Can you go to AA meetings. They helped me. There’s a zoom Women’s mtg 24/7.
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Maybe try a meeting might help, helped me stay sober wish you well
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Awedome read and thank you for sharing. I found it very fascinating. Now i can understand me a bit more.
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How are you doing? I know that drink shame guilt regret cycle has a way of pulling us back in. Hope you are okay.
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You betcha! Here’s the video I was referring to if you want to check it out. It’s a bit long but very informative.
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Perhaps you might consider escalation, as in adding something you weren’t doing before your deciding to drink again. Maybe meetings or counseling…something more to help you stay the course.
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Wow, that was quite a video. It really explains things so you can understand why we do the things we do. Thank you so much for sharing that. It really helped me ubderstand sone things.
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Have you been sober since Christmas?
So glad it helped!! 
Hello. Im in need of some words of encouragement. Im on a path of destruction. The drugs have resurfaced and im tryna get leave them alone. Need help.
Hey! Welcome to TS! Lots of resources here to get and stay sober, whatever your DOC may be.