I made it 12 whole days. & then today I relapsed. I drank a nipper and a half (big nips) & I didn’t even end up enjoying it. Idk why I did it, and honestly I’m so disgusted & embarassed. I thought I had it in the bag. I keep looking at my sober time and I don’t want to start over 
I am so fucking stressed and have so much going on right now. I need to start utilizing some other ways to deal, chill and cope with this thing we call life. Im disappointed in myself to say the least. ughhhh (VIRTUAL SCREAM)
16 Likes
12 days is great. We’ve all restarted a hundred times it seems like. The thing I wish I knew early on is that it’s not just about not drinking but understanding why you drink in the first place. Understanding what a craving really means. What it is exactly that you’re craving. That can be really complex.
I was never the worst alcoholic, but had way too many messy and scary nights out. Figuring out why I did that was actually life-changing. It was more deeply rooted than I realized.
Give it some thought 
7 Likes
Thank you , that is very helpful. & I know, this is my millionth time trying to get sober I think. But I thought I’d do it for real this time. Definitely have to start some type of recovery plan & start digging into the root of my addiction. I think big part of that is realizing that I’ve got to make time for myself to maintain my recovery. My days are so busy & they fly by so quick. I’m going to try not to get too discouraged about today, and “just keep swimming”
4 Likes
3 Likes
Don’t think about it as starting over, I’m sure you learned some strategies you can keep using from those 12 days you were sober. I have lots of triggers myself (when I’ve had a bad day, a great day, days that end in y…you get the point). When I slip up, I really try to identify the why and what I could’ve done differently so I’m that much more prepared in the future.
I also don’t focus too much on the days. I know that can be incredibly motivating, but when your number goes back to zero, it’s a huge mental blow. Focus instead on self-care and listening to your body, whatever self-care looks like for you! hugs
7 Likes
Make it simple try ameeting might help ,helped me stay sober wish you well
2 Likes
Be proud of your 12 days, and keep going strong, and never think it’s in the bag because it’s not and it probably won’t ever be.
I dont know how many times I had to restart my counter too, and now that I got two years straight I still think it’s not in the bag. One day at a time. And again, be proud of what you’ve done, and keep up the good fight 
4 Likes