I don’t no how to start this just one word Iv messed up let the devil in not once but twice this weekend an all I have done is let myself down my kids down my wife down Iv been tryin hide my mental health from my wife an sayin am doin so well cose she was dealing with sayin good by to her mum an I was hide in how I was so I could be there for my wife yet all I was doin was try win I fight that I new I was losein Wright at this min am Wright in this cryin at my lowest Iv been in years I all most self harm again last night the only thing stoping me was how to I say to my kids y Iv done it I just wish I could no deep down that I can win this fight Iv had to sit my wife down an tell her I need u I carnt do this on my own I no I carnt I was liein to myself an everyone around me that I was doin amazing but I want I was fighting every day an it’s been 33 days clean but then I mess up no one to blame but me it’s all my falt all my mess an it’s all down to me to pull my self up an out this this hole am in an get my life bk on track so sorry for let everyone down on here it’s so hard for me to Wright this but Iv had to be truefull an let everyone no that Iv mess up heads up my arse sorry
Sorry to hear your in a bad place right now. It does not have to stay that way. You had 33 days and you can do that again and more and forever. Pick yourself up and get back in the fight Lee!
Bye for now…
Hang in there man. We’ve all gone a lot of days and then backslid. Just make today another day one and keep strong. I wish you luck!
Hang in there!! Please please hang in there. This happened to me too, now I’m by myself. Good on you for reaching out on here while you still have you’re family Around you 
I feel if I would’ve done that early on , I would still have my family. Sending you strength and love 
Thank goodness so much it’s hard
Just no I carnt even drink cose it’s way happens wen I drink I get coke
Thank u for the tex means a lot
Yes but I fort I could have a beer but I now no I carnt
Sorry heads all over yes to get clean an stay clean sorry chris
How are you going to achieve this? Any programs in mind? There’s a ton of resources out there. Here’s a link you may find helpful.
Resources for our recovery
You have to have faith, in our darkest moments our addiction rips all our faith and hope of ever recovering away. It seems impossible I know, and I can feel the pain in your words. You need to find that tiny bit of hope that is buried deep inside you and expose it to the light so it can grow. You hear it all the time in recovery “secrets keep us sick” people don’t mean only secrets about using they mean any secret. So being open and honest about all aspects of your life and where your head is at is essential in order for you to succeed.
Dont let your addiction beat on you any longer Lee, you need to raise your head, get some mental health support and keep fighting. You deserve to be healthy and free from the chaos of addiction.
I am really proud of you for resisting the urge to self harm, I know very well how strong those can get.
Praying for you and your family Lee.
Thank U for the tex bk an I no it’s goin be hard but I can do this
Wow thank u for that tex bk it made me cry reading it cose it was very powerful an it hit home an yes it so hard no to self harm but I did not do it but thank u for the message
Me too!!! The viscous circle right?
It’s hard but this group helps so put ur feelings on here an people help u that u don’t even no
Yeah I’m new! Thank you I’m almost 7 months clean off crack. Started using after my dad, grandpa, aunt and uncle and partner died all within 2 years. Not related to covid. But I’m doing ok! I actually got a shoutout for my 6 months clean from the comedian and podcaster Marc Maron lol so… can’t let THAT guy down right? Lololol
Hope you are doing ok!!! I miss my kid so much . Lives at their Dads and not talking to me at all. Heartbreaking! They are 14 and I don’t blame them. The last thing they need is to deal with me while they’re fresh into teenager land and highschool and hormones etc. But ya. I guess I should’ve started my own thread then hey? Sorry lol hope you all are well