After almost 90 days of being off of alcohol I relapsed. I drank a few cans of strong beer a little while ago and feel absolutely terrible about it. I thought I had control over it this time but I guess not. I’m alone in another country and realizing I will be spending the next months and Christmas alone broke me. I caved cause I just don’t wanna feel anymore. I don’t know what’s wrong with me but my anxiety won again and I drank. I don’t know what I am going to do next, I’ve got a party coming up this week. I just wanna be done with this bullshit, idk what I should say just wanted to share my disappointment with myself in here.
Try not to be so hard on yourself.
And remember that it didn’t actually make you feel better to drink. It actually made you feel worse.
You can do this. You’re only human and we will continue to make mistakes in our lives but you now know this isn’t the path you want. Drinking is only destroying your potential everything that’s waiting for you.
Be proud of those 90 days and pick yourself up and do it again!
It’s not for the faint of heart so just know that you are strong
If it were easy, everybody would do it.
90 days is not nothing! Sorry that the anxiety and being alone in a new country made you cave. Don’t let the relapse define you. You can stop now and start working towards your day 1 now! It never too late.
No need to engage in gatherings and events that are only going to trigger you. You can find polite excuses to miss them and I am sure everyone will understand. You need to put yourself first… your health, your sobriety you peace!
Are you able to join any groups (aa or recovery) - you can try on line or in person. Having support in real life helps keep us connected and on track. Stay connected here as well - this community has saved me.
You just need to take it one moment at a time - get plenty of rest, drink lots of water and when awake - keep yourself busy so you don’t have time for the urges.
