Relapsed again, i was going so well just went wrong so quick.
One thing i know, it feels different am not beating myself up over it, we go again push forward.
I will beat this one day.
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What are you doing to keep sober. For me, it went past ājust not drinkingā
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Am doing alot of exercise and walking at the minute am trying to find different ways to occupie myself weekends are the hardest
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I did a lot of that as wellā¦however, if you are still relapsingā¦then something has to change, or you will continue to relapse. Any ideas on what you can add or do differently? For me, i had to add a recovey program
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For me i have to constraint on myself, and remove a good few people/friends from my life, i know i have to do that but its hard.
I am better on my own, ever social event i go to its there, and i cant say no when am round it.
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2 thoughts on what you just said:
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removing people. I had to do that. I replaced anyone that didnt support me. I dont miss any of them.
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every social event its there. I missed a lot of social gatherings in the beginning. It was a blessing. I cant even remember what I missed, and no one else can either.
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Braking away from all that life is going to be the hardest for me, but i know deep down it has to be done, for me to achieve what i want. Thank you for the talk
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This is 100% hindsight talking: it was far easier than i could believe. The people I left behind, werent really friendsā¦litterally after a few days we lost communication. The events I missed, were filled with being sober.
The ātraumaā i thought it was going to cause was little more that ādiscomfortā. Once i started adding up the sober days, life took a turn and there was no stepping back
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Need a good network round you plenty of 12 step programs out there , get new sober friends for your weekend so you can still socialize in sober company , exercise is good and walking but it will help but not keep you sober long wish you well
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This is a huge deal and Iām so happy for you that you are going to get rid of the people who canāt or wonāt support your sobriety. Kudos to @Thirdmonkey for sharing his experience with this. You are not alone in this journey.
Also appreciate @Ray_M_C_Laren suggestion on finding new sober friends to replace the old friends. It makes the early days so much easier and still is a gift for me at almost 2 years sober. Glad you are here.
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You got lots of good suggestions and support here!
I definitely had to find new ways to occupy myself, lots of walking, reading, baking, working out and more. And I avoided get togethers and certain friends for a long time (that helped, a lot). I really found reading sobriety related books super helpful, as well as hanging out and reading here. Learning to do and doing different things helped me so much. Reading is something I love, so I dug pretty deep into quit lit books. Have a ton of recommendations if you are interested. Starting with Annie Graceās, This Naked Mind and Allen Carrās, The Easy Way to Stop Drinking.
Glad you are here!
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Its hard for me to explain, doing 1 week two week even 3 isnāt a problem, its when am feeling good and going good, then that voice turns up, saying go on enjoy yourself you deserve it, then next thing yano bang am on the rampage drinking taking.
I just cant get passed that part, it drives me mad, 9 times have relapsed in one year always around the same time every time.
Am going to give myself a hobby hiking and wlidcamping, so when the opertunety arrives take myself off
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Have also just orderd an addicted voice awareness control book of amazon to give that read
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I drank the same way, 1 week, 2 weeks not drinking was not much of a problem, I get it.
Have you considered the reality of what drinking offers you versus the fantasy? Does it make you feel better? How do you feel the next day? Are you proud of yourself on the daily?
Idk, but for me, drinking made me feel worse and I really hated myself cuz I couldnāt stop.
One thing that helped me was writing down what drinking really offered meā¦and how I really wanted to feel and be. I kept this on my phone and read it, really and thoroughly when I thought about ājust oneāā¦maybe that might help you??
What I will gain from not drinking and how I want to live my lifeā¦
*Feel healthy, clear and strong - mentally and physically
*No hangovers ever!!
*Treating my husband with respect and no drunk fighting
*Self respect, confidence and esteem all get a major boost
*No more internal conflict about drinking and if/how can I cut down or stop
*Restful restorative uninterrupted sleep!!! (Finally, after years sober)
*No waking up wondering where I am or who I am with
*Major pride in myself and all that I have and can accomplish
*A sense of peace and calm
*No more embarrassment and shame because of my drunk behavior
*Forgiving myself for past mistakes and terrible judgement
*No wondering what I did or how I hurt husband or others while drunk
*No treating people I love, including myself, poorly while drunk
*No drunk driving and possibly hurting self or others or jail
*No upset stomach from drinking
*No anxiety and near constant agitation when hungover
*No dark suicidal thoughts
*No shame around neighbors if I was loud and yelling or loud music
*No blackouts ever
*No overwhelming shame at my behavior
*No oversharing with strangers while drunk or making plans I will need to cancel
*Not having to check my phone in the middle of the night to delete social media posts - no drunk texting/emails/posts/calls
*Not be bloated and puffy and look haggard
*Major pride in myself and a boost in self esteem
*No hangovers ever again (this needs to be said twice!!!)
*No more excuses or lies
*Peace of mind
*Self respect, self esteem, self confidence, self love
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I hear you brother. It plagues us all. Baits us by pulling on the pride and reward system weāve build as we fed the monster, then switches the promises to the reality of our addiction. Be honest with yourself, there is no āone drinkā remind yourself that.
Since i communicate in memes, hereās another.
You donāt have to reinvent the wheel yourself too.
there are plenty of amazing programs that can help you understand how your addiction is going to you manipulating you and how to shore up your defenses!
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I wish there was a trigger that could drive us to sobriety. Right now I have to depend on my hard work and remind myself that I never want to be that blackout drunk. If I choose to celebrate, I will not pick up the poison of alcohol. Seek professional therapy for those behavioral problems. Your mind can be sick long after you give up the drink.
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I totally relate to this. I was absolutely able to not drink when I was feeling like shit and going through withdrawals. It was when those physical symptoms passed and I was feeling better when suddenly that voice (and we ALL have that voice) started saying āyou donāt need to quitā, āit wasnāt so badā, ātoday was a shitty day, you deserve a drinkā etc etc etc. So what you need is a plan for what to do when that voice pops us BEFORE that voice pops. For ME it was some AA meetings. I donāt know if itās for you but you need to find what will be the thing for you.
YOU CAN DO IT!!
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