Relapsed again ! why this not work for me like others

I’m really disappointed about me. Drinking for over 10+ years i lost everything. my age is 29 and i not settled. i tried to stay sober from alcohol but eveytime it lasts for 10 - 15 days and i relapse. this is more than 8 relapse after met AA. Why this not work for me ?
Last time i lost job, now im in home, my bank balance is very low. i can suffer only for 1 month. I dont know what to do. Last relapse made some scratches on my car, and it became dirty.
This is 2nd day again but im so depressed when thinking about my future and i ask myself why im like this

4 Likes

Great work on day 2. I know for me I could not make it a few days without drinking. It was hell for many years. At one point I did last 4 days but that was cause I was very ill. I am not sure what happened this last time but something just clicked. .I am very grateful that I did not throw in the towel after my over 100 failed attempts cause then I wouldn’t be where tam now.

Our addiction takes so much from us. It can strip us if literally everything and we still crave it. Such a unforgiving disease.

AA is great - do you a counselor with whom you can be accountable in real life? What other things are you doing? For example, I had to change my routine and routes so I didn’t fall into the trigger trap. I isolated from people and environments where I would feel the need to drink. I found activities to do to distract myself and keep me busy when the urges hit.

This place was my home… read so many posts and communicated with others…this helped me feel not alone and see the ugliness of this disease. See how cunning and deceptive it is and helped me keep away from it’s traps if “just one drink”, “you can try again tomorrow”, “no one will know”…etc.

I joined this community 2 months after I quit and so no one here has seen my struggles with my DOC’s …just know you are not the only one dealing with the cycle of relapse. It’s a bloody struggle but please don’t be discouraged…I’m here to say that you can fight your way out to freedom. I’m 46 and after decades of trying I’m happy to say I’m finally experiencing freedom.

2 days is great… keep at it friend…make plans for yourself to not fall into the traps and keep pushing forward :muscle:t4::people_hugging:

4 Likes

I can only say what have worked for me Sarath, you find it here:

In your situation I would wonder: what can I add?
Can you go to a rehab facility ore your doctor?
Do you have a sponsor who you can call when you want to pick up a drink?

1 Like

Thanks Claudia,

Yes this time i want to follow 3 months like you. But what really hurt me is, Now my age is 29 and im not married and also job less my family is very disapointed also, i’m a tech person and im trying to find freelance works online but unable to concentrate, if i sit for 1 hour infront of my computer im not getting any interest on it.

Hey Sarath,

we all have tried to get sober so many times. The people you see here with hundreds of days or even years sober have tried multiple times to get sober, relapsed and came back until it stuck.

Lesson 1: Do not give up. You have to keep trying. No one gets it on their first or tenth round.

Lesson 2: Nothing changes unless you change.
Make two lists of places, people, activities, thoughts, and behaviours. One list are those that are good for your sobriety. The other list are those that are bad for your sobriety.

Every day when you wake up, make a plan for the day to do things from the good list.
Every day commit to not doing anything from the bad list.
If there are places that are good for your sobriety: go there.
If there are places that are bad for your sobriety: do not go there.
Expand the lists over time.

Lesson 3: Get help.
Get any and every help you can: support groups, internet forums, friends, counselors, doctors, books, podcasts, anything. You cannot do this by yourself. It’s impossible.

Lesson 4: There is a very good reason for the acronym ODAAT: One day at a time.
Do not spend your time ruminating about your past or your future. The past is gone, the future is not yet here. Stay here, stay now, focus every minute on what you can do to support your sobriety. Focus on staying sober one breath at a time, one hour at a time, one day at a time.

Wishing you the best. Keep coming back, and keep sharing your journey every day, several times a day :mending_heart:

4 Likes

I know it’s a lot to deal with and you can’t change all that in one day. It’s a project. Your sober project and your life will change but it takes time.
You where drinking for years and destroying your life slowly. You cannot fix all that in a short period of time.
Focus on you and on today.
What can you do to get trough today sober?
Wich step can you make today in finding a new job so you can survive financially?
This helps me also when I worry to much:


Maybe it helps you too.

4 Likes