Good for you Indi. You should get yourself into care so you can get the treatment you need.
Thanks for teaching me the right way to say it. I like learning new languages. I would love to learn welsh. It’s got a rich history and a beautiful tone and tenor to its poetry.
Great start for sure. Loved to read this Indi - sorry I missed your post from 6 days ago. So glad you are back and not letting your relapse hold you down.
Sending love my friend. You are not bothering anyone ever. We are here for you friend. 
Thank you for the advice earlier. It seemed a little harsh at the time but helped to really kick me up the arse, so thank you.
For now, I’ll be going through GDAS (Gwent Drugs and Alcohol Service) and they offer referrals to rehab. Think they’ll send me to one in Liverpool (184 miles away, so a little scary, but not as scary as death or relapses).
Happy to teach Welsh any time! It’s my first language, haha 
So is that the right phrase to use? Like if I want to say you’re lying to yourself.
Sounds like you’re being super proactive, that’s great! Glad you’re still here and moving forward.
I’m not sure what you mean, sorry? Like lying about what? The referral still takes a long time. GDAS is like a support, uhh, Idk how you say it, support system? So they give you therapy and still support you in rehab. You get a designated support worker.
But the referral to rehab still has to go through and takes time (and if they have space).
I only know about the one in Liverpool because I was offered to be referred last May, but didn’t go, not that I’m going right now.
Sorry for any confusion.
Lying about being able to drink. You can’t drink.
Oh no, I didn’t mean I was going to! I’m not. Never ever again. Not sure where I said I was going to, I just meant that being so far away from home is terrifying, but I’d rather be scared of that than ever drinking again!
Sorry for the confusion. Not drinking. Won’t drink ever again.
I mean that GDAS give you Antabuse in the meantime and therapy and breatherlisers to make sure you are sober and stop you from drinking, not that they make you drink. Quite the opposite.
It’s a support network and therapy.
Sorry, we may have gotten lost in translation. I didn’t mean I was going to start drinking again until I got a place in rehab. Not at all. Just that I’ll be going to therapy in the meantime.
Don’t worry, I have absolutely no plans of drinking now or ever.
Ok - I think I am getting more at a fundamental level, more philosophical or identity-level thinking in my post above, but you are at a pragmatic level in what you’re talking about now. I think we’re talking at two different levels of life; it’s not a language thing we’re missing here, we’re just both speaking about different things.
I understand what you mean Indi. Thanks for clarifying, I appreciate it 
Hi @Matt I think this is what you mean? It’s a term I’ve heard before in England but it’s not used often.
Indi, I’m so glad to see you made your way back to us. Addiction is one hell of a beast and it’s really admirable seeing you fight it. Getting help through the NHS is frustrating, but it can be done.
Do the drug and alcohol people know how serious your case is? That should put you up the waiting list for residential rehab. If not, make a nuisance of yourself. Send emails. To the hospital, to the drugs and alcohol, to your GP, hell… find the email adress for their complaint departments and write them as well. They need to prioritize you and they need to know how important it is you get help asap. Your body cannot take any more hospital visits, at this point, they’re just putting plasters on a gaping wound and it’s not working.
Keep communication in written form. Write down everything. The seizures, your liver stats, each time you were admitted to hospital. You’re a young woman in crisis and they have a duty of care. Sadly, the nhs is overworked and underpaid, they will not prioritize you unless you make more of a fuss.
Have you considered joining some online meetings in the meantime? Intherooms.com is usually quite good. You can just log in and listen in, you don’t have to join unless you’re comfortable doing so.
Also, I don’t know if you like to read, but books like Quit Like A Woman, The Unexpected Joy of Getting Sober and the Annie Grace book really helped me change my perspective on drinking. You can probably find them as audiobooks on YouTube as well.
You can do this, Indi. You’re strong and I have faith in you 
Thanks! I just looked it up and discovered it is used in England as well as Wales, and the first site I found it was just one of the meanings. I can see how that made things confusing 
I started (before my very first post in this thread) by searching for Welsh expressions, and I found this site - 23 Funniest Expressions in Welsh (and How to Use Them) - where #3 is “ Welsh people don’t tell lies, they “speak though their hat” (siarad trwy ei het) or even “through their arse.” (siarad trwy ei d î n)”.
But after reading your post I looked it up and found the expression has other meanings too, around Wales and England, including “talking nonsense” or generally not knowing what you’re talking about. (I should have started with this BBC page for learning Welsh! Beth yw idiomau? - Cymraeg - Cyfnod Allweddol 2 - BBC Bitesize)
Turns out the expression is common around England too. I have never heard that expression before; it isn’t part of Canadian or American English. I learned something new 
Now THAT is commitment… telling local shops in a small community is hard, but it’s good.
Throwing out bottles is the physical manifestation of clearing your mind of a desire for alcohol too.
I echo what @Amy30 says. If you haven’t read it, This Naked Mind by Annie Grace was a huge part of changing my mind about alcohol. I struggled hard to resist cravings and failed many times, but since I re-read that book I have found it much easier. Twice seemed a good number… but I would read it again!
Keep going Indi… now is the time to double down, now that you can still feel how awful the last relapse was.
I’ve been with GDAS before and they’re notified every time I’m in hospital, so the ball should get moving pretty quickly.
I’m 2 days sober today and am going to a meeting tonight and tomorrow 
I’ve heard of talking out your arse, but that’s more of an Irish expression (I’m Welsh-Irish so my mum used it a lot, haha)
Now in a minute is also a good Welsh idiom - basically means I may do it now, later or never 
Speaking of colloqualisms, I heard one on television the other day to describe a situation with two equally bad alternatives. He was trying to pick up a turd by the clean end.
2 days is fantastic… keep counting the days… Keep that feeling of never again and how great you can feel with sober days accumulated.
We use that here in the states “talking out your ass”, lol, well at least in the north east. Great phrase.
Just looked through the list - I’ve actually never heard of most of these phrases! Might be a thing from North Wales as our dialect in the South is different.
I’ll have to put a list together and post it.
One of my favourite Irish insults is “Póg mo thóin” it means kiss my arse lol
