Relapsed and collapsed and broke my ribs and phone, then collapsed again and broke my glasses.
I’m just so done. There’s a lot going on and I can’t cope. I’m only 22.
Sorry for bothering everyone.
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You’re not bothering me for sure. I wish you found a way to lasting sobriety. I wish we could help. We might help a bit if you let us. Drinking doesn’t help at all, but you know that. You’re not alone Indi. The opposite of addiction is connection but I know how hard it can be to find that connection. Big hugs lady 
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Good to see you girl. Very sory for your current situation.
Do you have maybe a bit of an idea what you might need to help you stay sober?
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You’re not bothering us. We are all here fighting for our lives. Have you read the thread titled What’s your plan? I highly recommend. At the end of the day you need to remember this incident. Learn and grow from it. 
🩷
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You’re not bothering us. So happy you’re here and that you’ve decided that you want to be done with the way things currently are. Please do come back and share, it will help, you know! Everyone here gets what you’re going through 
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Are you ready to get help yet?
I’m 41 and can assure you that if you reach out for help now you will live a better life and never regret it. Don’t wait as long as I did to make better choices.
You’re not bothering anyone here. We’re all here because we need community and help, and that’s a good thing. I came here so many times with relapses and these good people lifted me up off the floor. Today I’m doing better, I’m always going to be an addict, but that doesn’t have to define my life.
Do you want to read your next update when you’ve broken your arm, or knocked your teeth out, or worse?
YOU matter.
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Everyone cares about you Indi. I certainly do. I don’t wanna see you hurt and I’m sorry about the lot you got in life. I know it’s hard, but honestly you gotta dig those heels in and fight for your life. You are 22, like you say, so young still. I was still at the start of my drinking career at that age but I hadn’t yet broken anything or done much damage to myself. YET…
Please stay here and read and engage and check in daily, several times a day, whatever you need. I wanna see you fight this. You deserve a chance. Please please give yourself that chance at sobriety. Only you can do this lovely, but I’m always here for you and you are not bothering anyone by needing help. We all needed help, and will continue to need help.
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You ARE NOT a bother to anyone here!! I had many failed attempts at sobriety. What has ultimately given me the support I need is AA. I know it sounds intimidating but they also have a whole online forum as well where you can find the exact group that is right for you. It has really be a life saver for me and gives me that extra level of accountability.
Stay here. Keep reading, keep posting. We’re all here with you
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You’re speaking through your hat Indi (siarad trwy ei het) when you think addiction is somehow better than anything else (even mental illness or suffering). You’re lying to yourself when you say “I’ll just escape a bit one more time.”
You’re fighting a battle because you’re trying to stand under a giant waterfall (addiction) without being crushed. You keep thinking that somehow the next time will be different than the last time; you keep thinking that standing under the waterfall will be better than you feel when you’re not standing under the waterfall. (It is a distraction, definitely - it’s hard to remember anything when you’re standing under a waterfall, surrounded by its chaos and thunder. Addiction is the waterfall. A large waterfall can kill you.)
Really Indi? Is it really better? Better than what? Better than asking for the help you need, and continuing to ask and search and learn and try, for as long as it takes until you have regained your balance in life?
What are you afraid of? What is so scary that the deadly embrace of addiction seems safer?
You don’t need to apologize Indi. Stop apologizing; it’s a distraction. This has nothing to do with you being guilty of anything. This is you making a choice about where you’re safe. You are not safe with addiction. (No one is.)
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Indi, you got this. Print out Matt’s response and read it until you know it by I heart. This journey is different for everyone and I know you have been around as long as I have. You are smart to make this decision NOW and you have so much life ahead of you. Make a list of the good things drinking and partying gives you and then make a list of what sobriety gives you. It really is a no brainer. Fight for yourself and know we here for you. Sending you a big hug. 
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You are not bothering anyone! Thats why this group is here. You can do this. You are surrounded by support.
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As everyone else has said, you are not bothering anyone. It’s your addiction that’s telling you that you aren’t worth it, but our addictions lie.
Don’t be a martyr to your addiction. Forgive yourself for the relapse. You can get sober, if you want to, and you have a community here willing to help you. It’s hard to do it alone. We help each other.
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Hey what should my cravings plan be? I do not have one 
I am a sex addict as well, so try not to go out for a walk as it triggers the sexual side… anyone in the same boat? The deeper trigger is rt now loneliness that creeps up at night
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what you wrote has helped me rt now… as i was feeling like a drink, thanks Matt.
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Absolutely not a bother. I was a walking train wreck at 22, so super proud that at least you’re trying! All I can say, is you don’t have to do the same thing tomorrow, or even in a few hours. Everyday doesn’t have to be like that. I got clean off drugs at your age, been 20 years this past November. You got this.
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Ice is a big help. Chewing it. Finding a way to keep your eyes and hands especially busy. For starters. I will definitely think some more on this one. I genuinely believe you can succeed. I also found recovery dharma which is amazing regardless of what your demons name.
Edit: oh and a weighted blanket helps the loneliness feeling a bit
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I know I really need to stop. I just don’t know how.
I’ve just come out of hospital after having 5 seizures back-to-back (and I mean police and and ambulance) so I know this is really my last chance.
My AST is 83 and my ALT is back up to 130. I don’t want to make it a pity party as I know it’s all on me, but fuck, I so wish I never started in the first place.
It’s so crushing to know I’m destroying my life; even more so hurting my loved ones.
Thank you for your advice Matt, I’ll keep coming back to it everyday to remind myself of what I’m losing.
(Just a bit of a joke to lighten the mood, but the correct translation is "“Rydych chi’n siarad trwy eich het” 
)
But sorry if I come across as insincere. It wasn’t my intention at all. Just constantly making excuses for my selfish behaviour and I know it’s wrong of me
I know I must take accountability for my actions so I’ve referred myself back to the drugs and alcohol service. Time for me to get my shit together and take control, as well as put in 110% effort and do the work. No one else can do it for me, I know.
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You’re not insincere. You’re very addicted and you are killing yourself and it is hard to see it happening but it’s hardest for you. I’d say you need a long admission where you get to work on yourself, on your addiction and on the reasons behind it. We need all the help we can get friend. Like you say you don’t know how to stop yourself. Can’t do it alone. I’m at a point myself where I fell back into old habits of trying to take care of business on my own. It’s getting me nowhere. Also not back to drinking because that’s a passed station for me I feel although I never can be sure of that. But we all need connection I am sure of that. Take care Indi .
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This is hard to read Indi.
I hope you find your way into residential treatment to keep you safe from yourself.
It sounds like you have found acceptance… of the problem and understanding that you can’t do this alone. None of us can. Good luck
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In more positive news, I’ve thrown out every single empty bottle (I have no alcohol in the house at all, they were just empty bottles from before; a year and a half’s worth, and I was horrified by how many there were! Like, 100+) Have asked all of my local shops to never serve me alcohol again, have given my support worker my ID and am going to a meeting tomorrow.
It’s not really enough, but a good start I suppose…
Unfortunately, going to rehab, or at least applying under the NHS (I can’t afford private treatment) is a really long process, but fingers crossed I can get in soon because I really don’t want to die.
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