Back here.
Headache. Day 1
Feel like a failure as a mom. Was doing good. Bought wine. Drank it all. Blacked out.
I have been in AA over a year. I dread bringing up my relapse at my meeting. I’m so embarrassed.
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You made it back here, and that is worth a whole lot. We’re hardest on ourselves - there’s no worse critic. Try to be kind to yourself as you recommit yourself to sobriety and doing the next right thing. Sending you some love 
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What pushed you over the egde
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Why? For me when I got down to the “whys” I started making head way being sober.
Your AA family will understand. They will be there to support you.
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You’re not alone on feeling like a failure. We will get through this. I’m here for you.
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You are in AA so use them, phone someone for help. I once went in the shop for something or other and felt like a drink so phoned another AA member and stayed on the phone until I got out of the shop. Work the program and stop alcohol working you.
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You’re not the first or the last to do it, Kelly. I’m glad to see you back! AA will give you their love and understanding. 
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Happy to see you back Kelly. Don’t worry about telling them at the meeting. They’ll welcome you back with open arms and offer you more support to prevent another. Please reach out to us too. We’re all here for you.
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I think I just felt like I didn’t want to be sober anymore. If that makes any sense. Like I missed the ability to numb myself. I’ve been unhappy lately then last week did a little traveling and had a great time. Came home to all the same problems and just felt like …why bother.
But I bother because of my kids. And cause I don’t want to die from drinking. I just need to find a way to be happy again.
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Thanks Lisa. 
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I wish my brain worked that way. I honestly did not even give second thought to call anyone. Sadly.
I know I need to work the program and talking to my HP alot more than I am. Those 2 things right there are weak in my life and I need to do more.
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Thank you everyone. I need to
- Work AA program more
- Work on my spirituality
- Make some friends ( lonely AF these days…) Still have husband issues and need a tribe. Expat life is hard.
- Eat better/exercise (I have gained weight and that killed my self esteem)
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I’m no expert but it seems if you are able to make this list you are at least self aware enough to get yourself going in the right direction. Goodonya for that. Don’t knock yourself around. Just start anew.
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Ya know, I think a lot of us felt that way. I was a couple months sober…I was showering and said to myself, “drinking is the only thing I could ever do well”. I was going to drink. However, I got on here and talked about it first. People helped talk me down.
Sober doesnt promise a perfect life, it promises a life we can live to our fullest potential.
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took me years to get to the point of asking for help, when people like us think about drink it’s suddenly the only thing that matters and nothing better come between us but eventually we just get sick and tired of the same old routine so it becomes a little bit more obvious that we can’t do this alone. It’s hard asking for help bc we feel it’s a weakness but in fact it’s our biggest strength.
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Welcome back, it takes courage to admit you fell but there is no need to be ashamed. Addiction is HARD! I’m so glad you made it back. Dust yourself off and let’s goooo again!! I’m sending hugs. 
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@Here.I.am How are you feeling? I’m on day 1 and relapsed when I bought a bottle of wine from grocery store. We will all get through this 
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Hi Kelly! Try saying this to yourself every day: “I am not going to drink today. I might drink tomorrow but I’m not going to drink today.” Get angry at being manipulated by that addictive poison. “I’m not going to drink today, dammit! I might drink that nasty crap tomorrow but I’m not going to drink today!” Please keep us updated. We care. : )
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Oh Kelly, my heart sank when I saw this. Now I’m thinking that I haven’t seen you around here, or on the AA thread in a long time.
Maybe you can @ mention some ladies in the AA thread - that could help with 2 or 3 items on your list.
Please keep stacking your days. It helped me early on to read chapter 1 in the 12 & 12 every day for a while. It’s short and powerful and apt. And please please please keep coming back. 
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Traveling to escape unhappiness. Drinking to escape unhappiness. Both attempts failed to permanently address the unhappiness, as it was right there waiting for you, when you returned to reality.
Maybe think about addressing the unhappiness, rather than trying to escape it? Solve the issue, rather than trying to avoid it?
Another thing, happiness can be a decision, rather than an emotion, if you choose for it to be so.
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