It was my birthday yesterday. I drank alone at home. I texted my toxic ex bc he gratulated me and my boyfriend of 4 years saw it. He left.
I never told anyone about my Problem. I just called my mom and my best friend of 25 years and told them the truth. The whole truth.
They knew somehow of course. I am hangover and angry on myself. I hate myself. I had suicidal thoughts today, seriously. I just wanted to end all of this.
My friends and family are so understanding…they want to help me but its all on me. I dont want to feel that way ever again. I just do bullshit when i am drunk. I need help…otherwise there will be no next birthday i am sure. Thank you for this community, thank you for listening.
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Maybe try as meeting might help ,helped me wish you well
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I will really do so this time. Thank you
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Aww mate, happy birthday for yesterday. One day at a time, and a good meeting is probably needed. X
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Good for you for revealing the truth. This brings some accountability to your behavior, and that is one key to getting sober. Being held to account for our drinking is necessary. That change can lead to more and more changes for you. I was unable to get sober without it. But once I was being held accountable, then I tried everything suggested in order to put a sober head on my pillow every night. And day by day, I found a way to do just that.
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That took a lot of courage. That is wonderful step in the right direction. How are you @Promilla1987 feeling now? It been a couple hours since your last post. Be kind to yourself. We are here with ear. I’m sorry things are messy right now for you 
. Staying sober is definitely a step in the right direction. Maybe if you live close to mom or friend you could go hang with them for awhile. Always nice to get a hug when we are down.
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Thank you to everyone for those kind words! Means a lot to me. I am at my parents house and i will stay for a few days. We had a long talk… it felt like a huge thing to tell them the truth. They had really no idea! It hurts me to hurt them..but it motivates me on the other hand.
I know its now on me to stop drinking.
The hangxiety hits hard today…i feel like a failure, like a bad bad person but i know this will pass and its going to be ok.
Thank you y’all
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I’m glad to hear that you are with your parents. Try not to be too hard on yourself, you are human. You are battling a disease that is what alcoholism despite what some may think. This stigmatize keeps a lot of people from getting the help they need. So you are very much headed of the game now.
You got this, you get this demon out of your life and in its place. Read around, come up with a plan for when that craving hits. Take it one day at time. Here a thread that has good info and I go back too. What's YOUR plan?
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Thank you !! Youre right. I need a plan for when the craving hits.
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The day after your birthday is an awesome sobriety date!
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Happy belated birthday.
I am so very sorry to hear about the relapse and the fallout from it. Our addictions really only take from us and keep taking.
I am proud of you for opening up about your problem and letting your loved ones in. It is a shock when we realize that we really weren’t hiding shit.
Grateful for this realization. Glad you are planning to go to a meeting. Keep connected here and with whatever in real life support system you create. We can not do this alone. Work your recovery with all that you have. Remember this day and all the bullshit alcohol left you with. You deserve a sober happy life. ODAAT 
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True! Thank you
Thank you so much . It means a lot to be part of this community.
I feel a little better today. Will go for a walk then and make a plan on what the next steps will be.
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Glad you are feeling better. Sounds like a good plan ODAAT 
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Good to hear you feeling better. Stay sober with us today.
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How are you doing?
Hey there! I am doin so much better. Went for a swim today, had a very good lunch and dinner. Spent time with family.
I am starting to have hope again that this time i am staying sober for good 
I reflected my drinking a lot the last few days. If i am with my loved ones I hardly think of alcohol…the problem is when I am alone at home… i sometimes feel lonely and/or bored so i drink. I already have some ideas to break this cycle…to get over these few hours.
Thank you for checking on me…hope you are fine and have a nice evening!!
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Easiest thing to do is to make sure there is no booze in the house. Nothing never ever. When you get out and buy alcohol first, take it back to your home and drink that it will be a conscious choice and decision to drink, much more so than having a bottle hidden in a kitchen cupboard or something. Also there’s time to ask for help before going out to get alcohol. Glad to hear you’re doing better!
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Youre absolutely right!
I never ever had booze at home in the fridge or hidden somewhere in the house.
I always made the choice to drink, went to the supermarket, bought it, went back home, took a glass and began drinking. Everytime!
Its important to not buy it in the first place… when i thought about it, it already happened in my mind.
So it will be difficult to control myself but i know i can do it
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10 days sober today, guys!
I am currently on vacation in croatia. Its so nice. Its so much better enjoying every second sober, concious and without hangovers.
It suprises me every time when i stop drinking: i feel so good, everything turns to the better..but STILL did i start to drink again. For now I know its not a big deal not to drink.
But it will be when i start working again on 31st August. ..when i come home and the lonliness hits hard.
I do have a relationship, but he is a waiter and works until midnight 4,5 times a week. I dont know where this sadness and lonliness come from but i will find out when i start therapy in september.
I need a plan on what to do when i come home from work… i really want it this time. Thank you for your all support…i am so glad i found this app !
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