I was sober until the end of December, well Christmas to be exact, when I thought I’ll have a festive drinks. It’s so easy to slip back into the bad old ways and that’s where I am right now.
Considering a drink right now actually, even though today was a bit of a right off, due to drinking last night with friends.
I want to get back again, but need some motivation. Need a reason to do it.
Oh and had been sober for four months; so not amazing but longest I’ve ever gone
Congrats on your sober time, and sorry to hear of the relapse.
Ask yourself - are you running TO or running FROM your alcohol? Or is it both? I find understanding the WHY useful.
I guess running to it, something I think I enjoy
What do u think alcohol gives you? As an addict and alcoholic myself, my mind lies to me constantly. It will tell me i enjoy it. It will tell me that i can have 1 (when i know i just dont stop). It will tell me that it will be different this time (yet history shows me that it never is). I think if u got truly honest with urself and where ur at, u will find those reasons for why u want to quit 
Dig deep. Ur here, on this forum for a reason. I hear that u want things to be different. So make the decision to make today ur day 1
I’ve always been of the opinion that logic alone will not convince the alcoholic to stop drinking. What I found to be most effective, for me, was to take the actions and let the thoughts and feelings follow. When I got sober, I finally had enough external consequences and circumstances (arrested for yet another DUI and released on bond until trial with the requirement to provide a .000 BAC breath sample 7 days a week at the local police station) to want to just stay sober. The fear of jail for months before a trial was finally enough motivation for me. I do not recommend this method for anyone else.
What did work, as I said, was for me to take action. The day I got released on those conditions, I made an appointment with my doctor and within two days I was taking Antabuse every morning. Just taking it in the morning, when my resolve to stay sober was high, was enough at first to get me on the road to thinking that I am a non-drinker. This medication addressed my drinking, but not my alcoholism. It did keep me dry long enough (about a month) for the mental fog to clear a little and for me to get myself back to AA. I returned with a willingness to do what they suggested, without question. Again, I had an action orientation there, I consciously decided to suspend my judgement that had previously raised a bunch of arguments within my head about how AA would not work for me. I decided to look for ways that it does work for people, and to do those things.
Move a muscle, change a thought. That’s a saying I learned early in AA - I can act my way into correct thinking, but I cannot think my way into correct action.
And now for the harder, tough love, question. Are you done yet? Are you ready to do something different? Your statement that booze is “something I think I enjoy” is hogwash and you know it. So, are you going to do whatever you need to do to get through today and lay a sober head on your pillow tonight?