Relapsed to p*rn (P) and M.O on 8-17-24 and been on a chaser effect for days
It hasn’t been like i relapsed every day since but some days i have and some i haven’t
My most recent day is today 8-26-24
I just looked at P today, but i didn’t M.O.
Proud i at least kept myself from M.O-ing.
Trying to use D.e.a.d.s
Deny, escape, accept, distract, substitute
From SMART recovery online to abstain
And exercise like walking.
And use other habits that are also stimulating to be more enticing than P: like watching movies or playing video games.
(But i think i might have heard that playing other stimulating activities could also be a trigger to look at P. Like it’s a dopamine seeking behavior so it triggers you to want to seek other dopamine seeking behaviors. I need to do more research on this though)
I do want to start limit alcohol too now, since i think drinking that could lead to me using P more and lead to increased anxiety symptoms in the long run.
And looking into maybe taking some supplements to help with the urges
I heard omega fatty acids, and tumeric could help with the urges.
I take L-theanine for help with anxiety, maybe that helps with the urges too since it helps destress me.
I’m recently unemployed so i think the extra time and lonliness and isolation in my days is affect my no pmo habit i think for the worst.
I think i need to create a healthy routine to do while unemployed.
My anxiety support group says to work on projects and exploring new hobbies or spend time on existing hobbies.
This is hard for me to just sit and have fun because i feel this insatiable need to be productive. I feel a bit like a workaholic.
I think it might be because my mom would constantly make us do chores when we were younger and i felt i constantly needed to be productive to keep her happy and not mad at me.
I’m finding that i can actually Block the safari app on my phone, so i think i might just do that for a week to recover for the first week.
Because even if i have filters on safari it still has websites that i can access on it that aren’t P sites that have P on them, so my filter isn’t doing the best of job. It does block on the main P sites though.
I’m telling myself that i am not going to M.O for 90 days while i come off of P during that time.
Then after that i can M.O without fantasy (images in my brain) and without porn every 90 days.
Wish my luck on trying to keep up good habits daily.