How many times have you guys relapsed? Ive relapsed 4 times now.
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I never relapsed. Every time I got sober, I had an unspoken, but conscious, reservation - that if āthingsā got too bad, I would go back to it. Other times, I stayed dry long enough to satisfy the judge or the spouse or the boss, again with an unspoken but planned return to drinking.
I was in and out of inpatient and outpatient treatment, in and out of jail and AA, for 18 years between my first attempt and my permanent sobriety. I never had a period of time of healthy recovery that would qualify, in my opinion, as being symptom free - I was either actively drinking or actively thinking like a drunk the whole time.
And if I were to return to drinking today, it would be a conscious choice that would start by abandoning the practices that keep me sober. I would reduce and eliminate my engagement here, my AA participation, my daily spiritual practice. After a period of time at that, I would pick up a drink or a drug. And I will bet that I could last anywhere from 12 hours to maybe 30 days drinking before I landed in jail, the hospital, or the morgue.
Is your question motivated at all by the subconscious or conscious desire to justify a return to drinking? Morbid curiosity about failures at sobriety can be interpreted as an active obsession with alcohol or drug use. And that obsession, the constant and sometimes unwelcome thoughts about how good it was to use or how we are going to use ābetterā next time, or concern with what and how much other people are drinking or using, that obsession eventually leads to the compulsion to use. It is a hallmark of addiction, and distinguishes us from normal drinkers.
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I personally have not relapsed, but I encourage anyone who has to reflect on what led to the relapse and what can be learned from it. I have a strong relapse prevention in place which consists of the following:
- Changed people, places and things
- Attending in person and virtual AA meetings regularly.
- Working the 12 steps and practicing them in ALL my affairs.
- Visiting this forum daily to read and interact.
- Picking up the phone when life gets lifey and sharing my challenges with another alcoholic/addict.
- Most important ā I do not pick up no matter what. Even if my ass falls off, I pick it up and take it to a meeting.
What does your relapse prevention look like?
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To be honest, ive relapsed more times than i could count. I had been trying to get clean since the age of 16 when i went to my first treatment facility. 22 years later of struggling and those relapses added up. 2 of those relapses almost killed me. Relapsing is not to be taken lightly for sure. We risk our lives every time we slip up and use/drink.
I think the important thing is tho that we learn about what happened when we slip. That we figure out what went wrong, what we can do differently moving forward, and then really put this into action. We certainly can learn alot when we take time to reflect on what happened.
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To begin with I could never manage more than a day so (a few times maybe 3-4) but would always be back at it ā¦ would go to sleep saying never again and be right back at it the next day.
I did manage to quit smoking cigs for 2 years when I was 19. And other than that this is the first time Iāve been able to stay smoke Free. Now over 3 years and counting
As for alcohol and weedā¦I feel this time around us different and Iāve gotten way more than a couple of days strung togetherā¦ hopefully this time will be for good (always have to keep my guard up and not give into the addict lies). Just over 2 years and counting
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I honestly couldnāt even count. I quite worse things easier (much younger, like 16) so I kept getting better and going back with an excuse with Iāve been good for this long. I can quote at anytime playlist. Luckily I found this app because I truly believed itās saved my life. Iām not a meeting person (thatās a whole other thing) so this place is perfect.
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Youāre killing itā¦
BECAUSE YOU ARE AWESOME! You have helped so many. Especially when they have been on the edge so to speak. š©·šš©·
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Awe thanks for that Cass 
your sweet words are very much appreciated 
We are crushing it together 
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Over 30 years I have been trying to quit drinking. I never considered drinking it a relapse. Itās a personal decision to call it that. I just thought, āHmmm, I didnāt fully quit yet.ā Now, I am over a year and still find it difficult because alcohol has often been my way to shrink my thoughts. It didnāt really work. So, I just keep self-talking and doing the work involved in coming to terms with my thoughts, with my life, and with my purpose.
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Exactly. The lessons need to be learned sometimes. Not a lack of want to change in my opinion, itās a lack of preparation/education as far as coping and pattern recognition etc
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Yes we are. And thank you š©·šš©·
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I have had multiple resets, like many others. But that is not my focus, my is the last time I had to restart will be last the time. I need and truly want it. My focus is on today.
Do what ever it takes to go to bed sober tonight. Give yourself grace for the past. And try not to focus on forever. Just today. You can stay sober for one day, right? @SoberJobo
Wish you the best on your sober journey
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I have no idea how many times Iāve relapsed. Before getting sober for good, I would gather a days, weeks, even months of sobriety and then start drinking again because I kept telling myself that this time it would be different. It never was.
Soā¦ I guess I never really stopped. Not until I stopped, that is. You canāt relapse if youāre still in active addiction. For me, it all just blends into one long blur of drugs, alcohol, blackouts, and regret.
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Thank you all for sharing.
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I have many resets on this app, but feel like I only actually relapsed once. Around 4.5 months, I said āfuck itā and had just one drink, which opened the floodgates back up. Every time I tried to quit after that, I donāt count as relapses. It just didnāt feel the same as the first time. I had fears, doubts, and shame. I knew I wasnāt done for good.
As @Lisa07 mentioned, itās good to have a prevention strategy. I actually did. I was going to meeting every day. I was in the middle of my steps. I was in the best place of my whole life! Then there was covid, and 10 days without meetings did me in. I believe that if things were different, I wouldāve never relapsed at all, but thatās not how it went down, so I donāt dwell on it anymore. What I do, do now, is put my recovery first. I spend time and energy to focus on it every single day. Staying more than consistent has gotten me very close to 2 years without a drink, and I wholeheartedly believe in myself to continue on ODAAT.
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I went to my first meeting in 1986 and i was home, as for relapsing had plenty of excuses but i had no reason so i didnt lift that first drink. Hi Mikef what did we old timers do without internet lol
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If anyone wants to know how to do it, that is how you do it.
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Absolutely not! I will never drink again! I just got out of the hospital where I almost died. Never again!
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Glad you are okay. You got this!
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Iāve been all around addict since my early teens. For my teens and 20ās there wasnāt really much of anything I wouldnāt do for a buzz. Iād quit one substance I was abusing but would always just drink more/ smoke more weed as it was a lesser evil / not what I thought I had a problem with. I managed to mostly quit everything for both my pregnancies but was straight to the liquor store when I left the hospital from giving birth both times ( because I had done my time). Iāve started and quit drugs more times than I can count but alcohol was always still there except for a couple times I ātook a week breakā because in my mind it was never my real problem. But like everyone else here I was never in control of it. I guess my point is I canāt really call any of them relapses but more ups and downs in my active addiction because until recently I was never 100% clean and sober. I can honestly at 42 years old this is my first real legit attempt at it
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