I started drinking alone, again. Im inpatient in psych ward because of my bipolar disorder after attempt but I’m so deep in alcohol again, but I can’t told anybody here
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Well it’s a good thing you’re still around to fight another day
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You can tell others who are there to help you. Being honest is part of what sets us free!
I was in rehab for my alcoholism and did counseling with trauma groups for my past. It helps, if you want it.
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I know its hard, but addiction/self medication and bi polar are common, so if you are an inpatient you can tell the psychiatrist as they can help, I know its a huge step (I’m bi polar) but your in a good position to get help being an inpatient, good luck 
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Welcome @fairycoraline 
I’m sorry to hear that - it sucks when you feel trapped in a cycle like that.
Many of us with mental uniqueness (sometimes called “mental illness” but personally I prefer different terms 
) have been self-medicating for years with our addictions. We found, usually at a young age, that this substance or behaviour numbed us in a way that made our life seem at least more bearable.
It’s a lie of course. All addictions are a lie. Our addict voice says “come on it will be fine it will make you feel better” but life always, always shows us, eventually: addiction is hollow. It’s a pit, a hole we get stuck in - using is always bad, it never ends well (even when we think it’s fine, the consequences always catch up to us) - and we realize we need to get clean.
What helped me was talking to my doctor about my feelings and my experience, and getting medications and counselling to help me A) help my brain (the medications), and B) help my behaviour / emotions / thoughts (the counselling). Doing that helped me turn my life around.
You said,
That feeling of hiding is the addiction talking. It says “be alone, you’re better alone, no one gets you / no one can or wants to help, life sucks and the only thing that helps us _____ [addiction] because it puts life on pause for a while”.
Pushing back against your addiction, taking a stand and saying you will not hide any more, and taking one small step every day, to move forward - that will help.
Take care and don’t give up. Take it one day at a time and keep working on it, stubbornly, persistently - and you’ll get what you need.
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Hello,
I have also relapsed. Have been three moths completely sober, but I started afterward to play with fire (alcohol). Last weekend was an awful relapse with depression involved.
I have started again and I hope to continue in the path of sobriety.
Let’s recover. Thank you for your post.
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I think you should ask for their help. It’s why you’re there, so they can help you