I wanted to share something that’s been on my mind lately, relapsing when there seems to be no clear reason why. Sometimes, everything feels like it’s going fine. No major stress, no obvious triggers, and then out of nowhere, I find myself slipping. It’s frustrating and confusing because, on the surface, I cant pinpoint what went wrong.
But the more I think about it, the more I believe there probably is a reason I just dont fully understand it in the moment. Maybe it’s something subconscious, something I’ve pushed down or ignored. Maybe it’s emotional, a feeling I haven’t t acknowledged. Or maybe it’s just old habits creeping in when I let my guard down.
I know relapse isnt random, even if it feels that way. I guess I’m trying to figure out how to recognize those unseen triggers before they hit. Has anyone else struggled with this? How do you identify what’s really going on beneath the surface?
I havnt relapsed yet Andy so for me i had plenty of excuses to lift a drink but when it came to it i had no reason my sobriety was strong i had a good foundation and network round me ,maybe some people just havnt accepted that total abstinence is essential to staying sober .relapse happens
That is truly an impressive accomplishment. I have seen quite a few people receive 1yr/5yr/15yr etc. coins for lengths of sobriety. In the beginning, I figured that would be pretty easy. Ha! Literally the hardest challenge (if you can call it that) I have taken on in this life.
Relapse is definitely not random. It actually starts before you pick up the drink. Sounds like you still place value in that poison. Commit to sobriety 100% and put it above anything else in life.
Every single day we have choices. Next time, make the choice to pick up the phone and call someone or come here for support.
Think of it like learning to swim. There are legitimate methods of learning to swim, proven programs of learning. You don’t need to understand all the things that can threaten you in the deep water; that knowledge isn’t necessary for you to learn to swim. Learning to swim is about learning to swim. (I’m not saying it isn’t worthwhile in general to study the creatures and currents of the water, to understand how they work. I am saying that when someone hasn’t yet learned to swim, then studying those creatures and currents is unsafe. You’re not there yet. You don’t know how to swim. You need to focus on that before you can be asking questions about why the currents do what they do.)
There isn’t really a question here for you to analyze. You need to learn to swim from a program of recovery. Get to it! You can do it if you reach out to knowledgeable people and follow their advice, and keep in contact and keep working it, one day at a time
I have to agree completely with this statement. Being here at Talking Sober almost two years I can see where some are headed for relapse in their postings. Also those that were here and disappear thinking they mastered their addiction is another sure sign of failing long term sobriety. I appreciate the long timers remaining here and sharing their valuable wisdom and experiences.
I used to relapse a lot, if you want to call it that, was more of stop and start, usually stop for 4 or 5 days at a time.
The reason why I did this was because I am an alcoholic.
I wasn’t physically dependent on alcohol to function, but I had enough of a physical addiction that it would make me uncomfortable after a few days of abstaining. The withdrawls would manifest as “stress” and “anxiety”. It made it easy to justify starting again, just to deal with the “stress”.
I didn’t understand what was happening. I was drinking enough to cause withdrawls when I stopped. The withdrawls caused uncomfortableness that alcohol cured, creating a cycle.
Now that I understand what was happening, it gave me the upperhand knowing that the uncomfortable feeling will subside, as long as I break the cycle.
Some of the things I used to justify drinking was:
It’s only been 4 days, I’ll try again next week
Just one more night, then I’ll quit
I did good for 5 days, I deserve to treat myself
I wasn’t THAT bad, do I really need to quit?
Boo hoo I had a bad day
Now, I find reasons to be sober:
Feels great to be hydrated
Waking up without a hangover sure is rad
I could totally drive to town whenever I want
Being present for wife and kids is tops
List to what you’re telling yourself to justify using and try to find the excuse to remain sober.
I used to and still to this day tell myself that relapse just isnt an option for me…no matter what happens i will find another way to deal with life. You talk like you have no control over relapsing but you do…its only you allowing yourself to drink and theres only you that can choose to not have that first drink…its all within your own control.
