TL;DR: What would you do if you discovered that the cornerstone on your entire 20 year marriage was based on a pretty significant lie?
The long version: I’ll try to be succinct.
I’m 40, happily married. I met my wife when I was 19, in a chatroom during the infancy of the internet. We met in person the very next day. A couple of years later we had some issues. I ended up in jail for DV assualt, lost my dream job at a radio station and was down and out. We stayed together for a few more months until she went a little crazy and got herself arrested for DV assault. At that point I never wanted to see her again. She came over to my place, escorted by her Dad to tell me she was pregnant this was early July. So, conflicted, I still didn’t want anything to do with her. After the trial for my charges (not guilty BTW) I went back online and talked with someone I had met before, she mentioned she was in the area and we decided to meet. So I show up at the designated time and place and she’s a no show, but guess who shows up, my ex. She’s shocked to see me there and I’m pissed because she set me up. She claimed she didn’t, I finally believed her and reconciled, this was Mid August.
I ended up moving in with her and our daughter was born near the end of May. But wait, she told me she was pregnant in July and the baby was born in May. It didnt add up, she had to have gotten pregnant the night we reconciled.
I brought that up, she said she must have miscarried when the police arrested her. So I carry on.
Nearly 20 years later, a few months ago, I’m cleaning out our garage and find a page from her journal detailaing the events of that night in August, the night I happened to be in the same place at the same time as her, which was miraculous because it was 30 miles from my home and 70 from hers, I mean, what are the odds, right? Anyway, the journal entry described the story like she always has, she just happened to run into me and was upset that I was meeting someone else so soon etc. So at this point, maybe it was a strange coincidence, until today. I picked up her bible and flipped through it. A piece of paper fell out. It had a list of email accounts and passwords as well as instant message accounts and passwords. They are very similar to people I’ve communicated with before, and one is very similar to my cousins…
So WTF?!? Now i know my intuition was right. It was her all along, setting me up.
That was almost 20 years ago, and things have been great, but its built on a lie. What to do?