He says he blocks it, buried it and it doesn’t exist
That I need to stop having emotions
I am just so confused I guess.
I don’t even know tonight
I am sure others have, but the ones who say things like this have not. Has he?
Not quite sure what you mean. Can you explain
The ones who will look at you and say “others have it worse” generally haven’t experienced any real trauma themselves, or have and carry it around like a badge of honor. “Look at me! I went through hell, and I’m not screwed up like you”.
But this has little to do with honesty and transparency. If you want his help, he needs to know what you need help with. He can’t support you where you are weak, if he doesn’t know where you are weak.
Now whether or not he has the maturity, compassion, and emotional capacity to do so, that is another matter altogether. It sounds like he doesn’t. Have you figured out why you are together? What are you both together? Don’t say “love”. Love is action, not feeling. When my wife loves me, I feel appreciated. When I love her, she feels cherished. This is how it works.
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Very good questions.
Right now I can’t answer.
I really don’t know anymore.
You don’t have to have the answers now, but you should have them before taking any major steps in the relationship…like marriage or cohabitation.
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Thank you I will screen shot this and keep reminding myself
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I think I will walk away before that ever happens to just gain some space and safety. My entire body is aching for space.
Not to be mean or reject. I am not angry. Just very very sad.
Maybe I am not even making sense.
I think it’s just got a bit overwhelming for you ask of a sudden, your got a lot of responses in quick succession. Maybe take some time and read back when you feel able. For what it’s worth I think @Yoda-Stevie made some very valid points, of your look back over them then decide what your need to discuss with your fiance 
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I’d recommend just keeping things as they are, at least until you have a better handle on sobriety, unless there’s actual abuse. Who knows? As you get better by working on yourself, maybe the relationship will improve.
Or maybe some time apart can help you gain perspective, give you both a chance to decide whether or not you are better together or apart.
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This feels good
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Thank you very much
If you can’t be honest in a relationship and taking the blame, it’s not a relationship. Been through this many times in recovery and out. You have to question it’s worth for your own well-being. Especially if it’s your recovery, which is priority. I had to learn this the hard way and grateful to be aware of it today!
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