I haven’t been on here in awhile. Things were going so well for a little bit and I know exactly what changed. I went to a festival and I didn’t drink at all. I’m sober from alcohol and I’m really proud of myself. I smoked a lot of weed, which is okay for me because the worst it will do is make me fat and sleepy. I used to be very anxious and uncomfortable smoking weed around other people, it was strictly a night time activity before bed for me. Going to this festival, I realized I could function among society, under the influence of weed, and not freak out the whole time. So now I’m stoned 24/7. First thing I do when I get back from the gym is smoke (I go in the morning). I’ve been trying to get more serious about the gym and that went down the drain - my diet is absolutely garbage right now. I failed my class because I’ve been saving school work to do after work and then falling asleep really early. I know how to get out of this rut but I don’t want to stop smoking weed. It makes my life feel happier. I’ve been very positive at work, which used to not be the case. When people say things that would’ve bothered me, I just brush them off now. I feel like I’m a better person to other people, but I’m lacking in being the person I need to be for myself. I don’t know how to do both.
Thanks for letting me vent and I hope you’re all having a good day.
If you find that the drug makes you feel better, maybe you are feeling bad and not naming it. Have you considered seeing a doctor to let them know that you are struggling to feel happy? Maybe you have a chemical imbalance and just need some medication?
I could be very wrong and only you know the right answer, I’m in no way saying I’m the expert. Just here to say I hope things get easier for you and I know you can overcome this addiction when you are ready
This hit home for me. I had to read it over a few times. Our time here on earth is so limited that we can not waste it not being true to ourselves. This to me comes first and then see how other people react / gravitate towards the new me.
Have you considered therapy - to help shed whatever lies addiction has on you (you can be free and amazing without altering yourself with chemicals).
I can go to a club or party and dance without the liquid courage. I can function and deal with life without cigarettes. I can get sleep and feel calmness without weed. These were just a few things I had to retrain my mind with.
Great job on being sober! I feel like if i’m going to replace a habit then it should be a healthy one. Possibly take up a hobby or activity that will give you a release of endorphins.
